Recent statements made to Playgirl Magazine regarding photos of Tiger Woods in the buff have been determined a hoax after measurement by measuring experts at a local machine shop.
The pics, showing a John Holmes sized whammer, were compared to the real TW Tool. It took inspectors less than one second to make the final determination that the pics were NOT that of the Golf Great as the real thing was barley measurable.
A seemingly embarrassed TW quickly headed back to the home fort, locked the door and was unavailable for comment. Shankster Gal Pal # 1 was available for comment and stated "I told everybody the pics weren't real, all Tiger ever wanted was for me to do was sit on his face. I never could find anything to suck on."
Apparently the photos were photo shopped with a head pic of TW onto a bod shot of Kobe "Big Boner Bryant." The notion of such swooning images had caused women to engage in all sorts of outlandish behaviors from purchasing dick extenders for their husbands to snapping up huge TW branded "Gorilla King" dildos purporting to be the size of Tiger's Big Banana.
All over the country throngs of MLF's were disappointed by the news as the dream of a ride on Tiger's Big Stick disappeared over the sunset. Those who purchased fraudulent 15" and 20" TW branded dildos have been offered refunds by the manufacturer, Tall Tales of the Tiger, Inc.
Demonstrating an old principle once again, a produced image isn't always what actually exists.
Reporting from the Machine Shop Super's Office,
Dagnabbit Rabbit
