Tiger Woods gated community is under police lockdown until further evidence has been thoroughly searched for, by the Isleworth Security officers.
"Someone in this community is going around hitting people with a golf club", stated Officer Mickelson. "Until we find that person, no one is to leave or enter without a search."
Apparently, the police think that the attacks are coming from someone on the inside as all other entrances are guarded and/or there are huge walls with barbed wire, razer blades and a 2,000 watt electric fence.
"They also have a moat with alligators and piranha fish and a mine field, that was protested against by that former Beatles wife, Heather. I don't mean the former Beatle was named Heather. Oh forget it. Leave me alone, I just got out of the moat in time", stated Officer Els.
Whoever got to Tiger first made a mistake, the police seem to believe. They think he was probably intended to become the attacker, since they are using a golf club and who can use a golf club better than Tiger Woods?
However, police think that Tiger may have seen the perp and Tiger had to be stopped.
"He hasn't told us anything", stated Officer Singh. "That means he may have had his family threatened. Tiger is doing all he can, even canceling his golf schedule until whoever did this is caught."
