Ashley Cole 'Mimed At Wembley' Shock

Funny story written by Bunsen Burner

Monday, 19 October 2009

image for Ashley Cole 'Mimed At Wembley' Shock
Suspicions had been raised about England's new goalie

England left back Ashley Cole has been accused of miming during his last performance at Wembley. It is claimed that he was not really taking part in the match, but was pretending to make tackles and runs down the left flank,

Cole denied the allegations. "I never mime. I was just a bit nervous so the boss said I could play with a backing track of Wayne Bridge alongside me. But I didn't mime. What you saw out there was really me."

England manager Fabio Capello now faces his first major crisis as he prepares to select his world cup squad. He knows that failure will see him voted off at the end of the show. He needs to select a squad who can perform on the day. Cole is clearly struggling to do so and it was sad to see him so obviously nervous before the last match.

Top players are being pampered too much these days. They earn fantastic amounts of money, yet how many of them are not really playing on a Saturday? Quite a few are simply miming. We call for an end to the Match of the Day highlights package and urge all matches to be shown live. Those who can't perform should be transferred to Norwich City.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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