Phoenix AZ - The coach of the snakebacks here has agreed to fit the team with clown suits for the likely event of them coming in last place. The comish has declared that last place teams in each division must wear clown suits for the entire following year. The away clown suits will be patterned after Emit Kelley's frowning face clown, while the home clown suits will be based on Bozo the clown suits.
The clown teams will also be given extra aspartame in their dugout drinks.
People with fear of clowns, coulrophobia, are urged to stay away from the games next year. The last thing the snakebacks want is a stampede of terrified fans fighting to get away from the clowns, a la snakes in a plane.
In one play tonight, the snakes made three errors on one play in which the pitcher kicked the second baseman as hard as he could in the shin. The pitcher then picked up the ball, after crippling the second baseman, and threw it into an area near the dugout. The first baseman then picked up the ball and dropped it. He then picked it up again and tried to throw out someone when he had no chance.
It is seeing just such traumatic accidents that can give small children coulrophobia, according to Dr. Razycey who also saw the game and stayed late to consul the wives and children of the injured
The coach actually thinks the clown suits should cut down on the booing, which has plagued the snakes lately. "Laughter will be a welcome change," the snakes coach quipped, tears streaming down his somber face, ruining the expensive clown makeup as it washed down his red polka-dot cheeks, staining his clown uniform.
