Rooney: Tom Daley is my footballing hero

Funny story written by Cumman

Wednesday, 9 September 2009

Wayne Rooney, ugly, revealed in a one on one interview with lard-arse Martin Samuel, that sexy diver Tom Daley is his footballing hero, in the early hours of Monday Morning.

"I just love the way he dives... it's an inspiration to any footballer".

Not only will this revelation fuel speculation that Wayne Rooney is a serial cheating diver, but it will add to the rumours of his fetish for weirdly aged people.

Tom Daley being named as a footballing hero will only add to a growing list of sportsman outside football being regarded as heroes by footballers. Steven Gerrard revealed his hero to be Mike Tyson, "He's a fuck*ng inspiration". Petr Cech named Shoaib Akhtar, "He's so fucki*g fast, and he can fucki*g throw the ball well, also he's a Muslim."

Finally Frank Lampard chose Phil Taylor, "Hes so fuckin* fat its inspiring."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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