Dominic Cork retires from all forms of Warming Up

Funny story written by tennisman

Monday, 7 September 2009

image for Dominic Cork retires from all forms of Warming Up
Cork's cricket boots - He'll still be doing them up himself

News of more Cricketers giving up part or all parts of the game so that they can concentrate on other parts or no parts of the game were released today, much to the frustration of all cricket lovers.

Following Ricky Ponting's announcement that he is retiring but only from all forms of 20Twenty International Cricket, its become even more difficult for officials, fans and tea ladies alike to know who's playing what, when and where, let alone why.

But now, Dominic Cork, the former England Test player has revealed to a shocked Hampshire dressing room that he too is retiring but only from all forms of warming up.

Ashen faced Hampshire Members were left reflecting on the impact that Cork's decision will have on the quality of warm ups at the Rose Bowl. 'The touch Rugby will just not be the same without him. His handling is exceptional' said one. 'We only come to see the 'Can I hit one stump from 10 yards' drill. Corky snarls every time he hits it. My Misses squeels with delight. I think she fancies him more than me!' said another.

Cork was apologetic and resepctful of his fans' loyalty. 'The touch Rugby is fun but the fans must remember that every time I send a pass away, I have to swivel my hips. Ouch. There're not as flexible as they were. The rest of it - its all a bloody waste of time. By the time I've gone back upstairs for a cuppa and a few Rich Tea biscuits, I've stiffened back up again. But don't tell the Coach I said so', he chortled.

Those close to the passionate all rounder have denied rumours that this latest step will lead to a further reduction in the former Derbyshire and Lancashire star's involvement. 'I can categorically deny that he will not be retiring from any form of doing up his own boots for sometime', a Hampshire spokesman assured us.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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