Burnley One Game Away - Premier League Panic

Funny story written by Skoob1999

Wednesday, 13 May 2009

image for Burnley One Game Away - Premier League Panic
Wembley Here We Come! Clarets Fans Havin' It Large.

With unfashionable Burnley only ninety minutes away from securing Premier League status there was panic in the corridors of footballing power today.

The bottom line is that the football authorities do not want Burnley in the Premier League, and will do whatever necessary through the back door to prevent this from happening.

The only individual who has expressed support for the Lancashire Club thus far has been Manchester United supremo, Sir Alex Ferguson, who is virtually untouchable in the football world and thus able to express opinions not necessarily endorsed by the authorities.

One Premier League Chairman, who wished to remain anonymous told us:

"Nobody wants Burnley in our division. It isn't a safe place to go to, and it isn't safe to have them visit you either. There are some very nasty undertones associated with that place, also their kit is a bit drab and doesn't look too impressive on HD. They're just trouble. A whole lot of trouble."

A Burnley supporter countered:

"We're not even there yet and they're panicking already. Typical. We knocked Chelsea and Arsenal out of the Carling Cup this season, and we nearly did for Spurs too. They're just scared that we might rock their cosy little backslapping world with a bit of attitude."

Burnley face Sheffield United at Wembley on Monday May 25th at Wembley Stadium.

Updates as we get them.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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