Arsene Wenger Faces Accusations of "Child" Abuse

Written by Anietie Ukpe

Monday, 11 May 2009

Arsenal football coach Arsene Wenger is at the center of a controversy over child abuse. Though the police is yet to go into the matter, grave concerns by fans of the club have shifted public attention to it.

Manchester United which routed the Arsenal in their semi-final Champions League match said their approach to the match was difficult because they were playing against boys not men. One of them fail just short of describing Wenger's preference for teenagers in as tough a league as the English Premiership as child abuse.

The average age at Arsenal is twenty-one, which makes the team eligible to play in the Olympics Under 23 football fiesta. The Arsenal stars use their youthfulness robustly in matches by running all over the field in different directions and more often than not without caring which way the ball goes.

Despite their string of heavy losses, Wenger is not bothered. As a matter of fact he nearly signed a ten-year old player he found in a primary school, but the club's management alerted him that English football has an age limit.

Wenger believes that the young Arsenal boys are the team of the future and of course they are - they all have a future in other clubs.

Clubs which beat Arsenal claim that it gives them little joy because it usually leaves them with the feeling that they have just beaten a glorified high school team. Wenger does not mind of course because Arsenal is the team of the future - and it will always be.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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