Written by Earl Grey

Thursday, 2 April 2009

image for Newcastle United: "We're Only Here For 8 Games"
Newcastle New Signing Inspects Training Facilities

Newcastle United today denied that they were planning on staying in the English Premier division. They insisted that they were only going to remain for another 8 games and would then slide quietly away without anyone noticing.

Alan Geordie, the 'famous' television pundit-turned-manager said "It is pointless to speculate any further. If we loose to Chelsea we might as well start packing up. We are only here for 8 games. There will be no more."

Despite their loyal following Newcastle are showing signs of being on the way out. Hiring an untried manager in a moment of panic is just the final act of a dying regime.

Alan Scottish, the 'famous' television pundit-turned-television pundit said "Appalling defending. Etc etc."

Kevin Keegy is thought to be considering legal action as he trademarked the role of saviour of Newcastle some years ago.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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