In a bid to reduce the cost of running the London Olympics in 2012, a number of new sports have been introduced, in order to replace the more expensive swimming, ice skating, and equestrian events.
Tony Blair, former Prime Minister is already in training and is favourite for winning the Tiddlywink events, whilst Tennis is to replaced by Swingball, with Tim Henman a favourite to win in these events.
Sports Minister John Prescott told us: 'With the Credit Crunch, and a recession we thought it better to hold of on a full Olympic Stadium, which would only be used once. Instead, we are building a number of fields in London, and that will be the sub-total of our efforts in 2012. We feel we are doing the country a favour. Besides which, before then the Conservatives will be in power, so we will leave the logistics to David Cameron. That will wipe the smug, self satisfied grin of his toffee-nosed face'
