Kenya - In an attempt to exercise the bad spirits of his worst year in tennis since he turned 20, Roger Federer has visited a remote village in Kenya. There he sought out the advice of a tribal witch Dr. nicknamed "Mongo".
According to local sources Dr. Mongo made the following recommendations to Federer. First of all he must get a coach and stop hanging upside down in his hotel room. Second he must kiss Maria Sharapova. Third he must spit on Rafael Nadal's sneakers. Fourth he needs to stop wearing boxers and borrow some undies from Maria. Fifth last but not least he must swear at least one time per match so as to draw a warning from a chair umpire.
Dr. Mongo then beat Roger on the head with a lion's foot and burned incense tucked in Roger's sweatband while still on his head. "It was a really scary experience," said Roger, "But I'm going to give it chance. I just have to get the nerve up to talk to Maria."
When asked for comment Rafael Nadal said, "Roger is a great champion, I'm sure he'll do what he needs to get on track again." Andy Roddick said smirking, "Roger can get by without a witch doctor...but maybe Maria can help him."
The U.S. Open begins next week.
