Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 7 October 2008

image for England Cricket Match Called Off Due To Sponsorship Confusion
Cash ruins sport again

The $20m cricket match between England and Sir Allen Stanford's Caribbean team is in doubt tonight after a confusing High Court ruling.

The ruling was about sponsorship, but is extremely confusing, and nobody really knows the exact details of it. The match, therefore, has been called off.

It's a blow to the organisers who were to make millions of dollars from the tournament of twenty20 matches.

The West Indies, playing in red caps and helmets, are sponsored by Digicel, and they have complained about something or other. The case has gone to court, and, against all odds, the court has found in their favour.

The England team, which usually turns out in smarter blue caps and helmets, were due to play Sir Allen Stanford's Caribbean team (the West Indies) on November 1st, but now the teams must wait and see if Sir Allen (whoever he is), Digicel (whoever that is) and the West Indies Cricket Board can come to some sort of understanding over the next few days on just what the complaint was, and how the court's ruling affects it.

The England players were rubbing their hands together last week in anticipation of becoming rich beyond their wildest dreams had they won their game, but now it is as if they were all 'watching from the pavillion' on a wet afternoon in Scarborough, so sombre is their mood.

WICB chief executive Dr Donald Peters said:

"I'm flabbergasted. I don't really understand the technicalities of the ruling, but I think it's something to do with the bowlers' run-ups and the boundary fences."

BBC sports editor Mihir Bose, who is a right bloody know-it-all, said all parties remained confident of an eventual settlement, with the cash-strapped WICB - which has the most to lose should the match not proceed - likely to have to forgo some of the money that was due to come to them, but he admitted that he was also in the dark about what the palaver was all about. He said:

"The batsman's holding the bowler's willey."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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