Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 20 October 2008

image for Lewis Hamilton Penalised After Falling Foul Of More Obscure Rules
It looks well-polished to me!

(Shanghaied) Lewis Hamilton, the British Formula 1 racing driver, has fallen foul of the FIA once more, after he was found to have broken several more obscure 'rules' during the Chinese Grand Prix in Shanghai on Sunday.

Hamilton, who won the race, led the drivers standings by seven points from Felipe Massa, with just the final race in Interlagos remaining. After the podium presentation, however, Hamilton received some bad news.

The FIA called the McLaren team and said that, because Hamilton had not renewed his TV licence before the deadline last week, he would be hit with a 15-second penalty - making all the difference, as he finished 14.9 seconds ahead of Massa, and is now relegated into second place.

Hamilton was docked a further six championship points for having failed to 'polish his helmet', and could face further disciplinary action if it's found that anyone in his family has ever been abducted by aliens.

Hamilton must now go to Brazil knowing that, to be absolutely sure of winning the championship, he needs every other driver to retire from the race in qualifying, so that nobody can impede him, and so that he cannot possibly hinder anyone else on the track.

In this way, he has a better-than-even chance of avoiding incurring any kind of penalty, although, as has already been proven in the past, the FIA works in 'mysterious ways', and will stop at nothing to prevent him winning.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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