Lewis Hamilton Disqualified After China GP Win!

Funny story written by Brancastrian

Sunday, 19 October 2008

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Only Italy and Germany shall succeed at F1

Following his emphatic victory in the Chinese Grand Prix, British racing driver Lewis Hamilton has seen joy turn to despair after being disqualified and relegated to last place by Grand Prix officials, following the end of the race.

The Officials listed a "catalogue of infringements" against Hamilton that contributed to his disqualification, including "driving very fast", "leading the race for too long", and, crucially "not letting Ferrari win".

F1, short for "Ferrari 1" has mounted a long and systematic disciplinary process against Hamilton this season. Last week it emerged that he had been deducted points for "listening to Led Zeppelin" whist, in July, he was banned from driving for three days-neatly co-inciding with the British Grand Prix-for "wearing a loud shirt without permission".

Officials have since awarded victory in the Grand Prix to ex-Ferrari driver Michael Schumacher, as well as awarding him 100 points for the "incredible" feat of winning a race that he was not even racing in. "For Michael to win this race without competing is a remarkable achievement and fully worthy of these points" said a Formula 1 spokesman after the race. Schumacher is therefore the 2008 Formula 1 World Champion.

Hamilton will start next season on minus 50 points and will have to race in one of McLaren's four wheelied baby buggies for the first seven races of the campaign. Asked whether claims that Hamilton was being discriminated against in favour of Ferrari, Formula 1 officials branded that accusation as "ridiculous" and deducted him a further 50 points because he is British.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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