Adolph Putin's Russian Blitzkrieg into Georgia was fast as lightning! So much so that Chancellor Adolph decided to enter his tank brigade into the Georgian NASCAR races. Apparently the strain and stress of Russia's first invasion in decades left the motor pool a bit muddy and the machinery more than a little rusty.
So when the NASCAR race began the entire track was soon jammed up with broken down Ruskie tanks, jeeps and school buses filled with the corpses of dead Georgian children. Herr Fuhrer Putin was so infuriated by the humiliating defeat that he sent his boy president to bed without his borsht.
Little Corporal Vlad the Impaler warned the world that Russian tanks will recover from this small malfunction and will become the NASCAR champions that they have always been destined to become.