Manchester United have acted swiftly to fill the hole left by former Coach Carlos Queiroz, by appointing his fellow countryman Mr Big Phil Scolari as their new coach.
Queiroz left Old Trafford last week to manage his native Portugal after Scolari left that position to manage Chelsea, but now that he has, Scolari has changed his mind, and will head north to Manchester tomorrow to meet the players.
Mr Big Phil already knows Cristiano Ronaldo, and, with his silky Portuguese language skills, will presumably persuade the diver to stay at United, rather than move to Real Madrid.
Reds' manager Sir Alice Ferguson said:
"We've brought Scolari in to talk Ronaldo out of this silly transfer business."
So, to recap, it's:
Scolari: Portugal to Chelsea
Queiroz: Man United to Portugal
Scolari: Chelsea to Man United
Ronaldo: Doing as he's told
Prince Phil: Buckingham Palace to Crystal Palace (on loan)
