MCC Outlaws Kevin Pietersen's New Grip

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 18 June 2008

image for MCC Outlaws Kevin Pietersen's New Grip
KP puts another one into orbit

The MCC has announced that, after much deliberation and soul-searching, it considers the new grip used by England cricketer Kevin Pietersen to be unfair, and has banned players from using it.

Pietersen was told earlier this week, that his switch-hit shot, where he twists the bat in his hands and plays left-handed, was legal and allowable, but the player's brand new grip, the Piss-take 2, with which he holds the blade and strikes the ball with the handle, is going just a little bit too far, says the MCC.

New Zealand bowler Scott Styris was blasted for two sixes by KP's left-hander in the Nat West Series opener last week, but yesterday the England batsman unveiled the newest shot in his repertoire, the one, he says, to cause maximum embarrassment to opposition bowlers.

The Hampshire batsman was disappointed about the decision, and said:

"It's nit-picking. Ronnie O'Sullivan plays left-handed, footballers can kick the ball with both feet. What's the problem?"

But MCC spokesman Carruthers Boycott-Brearley said:

"I say, old boy! Hold the bat properly, what?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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