One hundred eighty nine runs! That was the margin leaving British cricketers' mouths agape and bats adrippin'. Britain's crack cricketers looked right silly swinging and swishing at the Kiwis' pitches.
BBC sports reported: "The Kiwis declared on 177-9 to leave England needing 300 from 81 overs but Kyle Mills stunned the tourists with four wickets in his first six overs."
English Cricket Coach, Jiminy Disney called for a protest: "My boys were ready for this game and they would have been as victorious as Nelson at Trafalgar had the New Zealanders played by the rules."
When daspoof I-Talian Cricket reporter, Bowlerino Stecchino-Wickino, asked about the coach's accusation, Jiminy explained: "It's the Kiwis! Who could hit those hairy little balls for any distance at all!"
