Eight Bells Trainer Denies Steroid Use

Funny story written by SAGE

Wednesday, 7 May 2008

Larry Jones, trainer for Kentucky Derby runner up Eight Bells who tragically snapped both front ankles after her remarkable Churchill Downs dash, categorically denied steroid use by the fallen filly.

"No way no how no time did eight bells ever do steroids," Jones lamented, "it never never never never never happened.

"We're taking a lot of abuse out there. ... We're being accused of steroid abuse because she was so large," he said. "I can tell you that (owner Rick) Porter goes to the sale to look for good horses and that's one of the thing you look for - a horse that's big enough, strong enough and fast enough to compete in big races."

Jones also denied Eight Bells had an affair with Mindy McCready, John Daly's wife, or had ever attended a party hosted by Jose Canseco.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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