Carlos Tevez Cried After Scoring United's Third Against West Ham

Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 3 May 2008

image for Carlos Tevez Cried After Scoring United's Third Against West Ham
Tevez after he'd dried his eyes

Carlos Tevez, Manchester United's Argentinian striker, has admitted he cried real tears after scoring his team's third goal in this afternoon's 4-1 drubbing of his former club West Ham.

Tevez scored with a vicious swerving drive past Robert Green in the Hammers' goal after 25 minutes, and the game was effectively over as a contest. That's assuming the game ever was a contest, which it was not.

Cristiano Ronaldo weighed in with a brace, and that carthorse Carrick managed another.

United now have a three-point cushion over Chelsea, and will, notwithstanding a record pummelling by Wigan Athletic next weekend, be crowned champions should the Blues fail to overcome Kevin Keegan's Newcastle at St James Park on Monday.

Sir Alex Ferguson, speaking after the game, said of Tevez:

"The lad's done well since he came here, but that goal really hurt him, and I understand that. They were his first English club, and he has a genuine affinity for West Ham. I'll be putting him on the transfer list on Monday."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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