Moscow Police Happy over the 'Plastic Fans' Final

Written by The Hack

Thursday, 1 May 2008

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The Manchester United Faithful

Moscow Police were today celebrating F.C Chelskis victory over Liverpool. Our reporter was allowed a brief interview with Vladimir Killthemov "Chief of Security".

Our reporter asked Comrade Killthemov why his security team is so happy over Liverpool's loss:

"It is simple, Liverpool were the last team left in competition with real fans."

Confused, I asked the Comrade if he could elaborate.

"Like I say is simple, Manchester United Fans are as you say plastic, same for Chelski fans, they wear suit, attend game in box and eat prawn sandwiches, so no need for security, which make us happy yes."

In response, a statement was released by The head of the Manchester United supporters club.

Lady Agatha Farquah Jones Roberts said "We at the Manchester United supporters club are appalled at being called plastic. My fellow supporters at the Berkshire Branch regularly attend the games when our husbands obtain corporate tickets, if we can not, we sit in The Stretford End along with people from all over the world! And we know how to have a jolly good time as long as its not over the top and unbecoming, if you have to sing, shout and swear, have a broad knowledge of football to be classed a real fan, well thats simply preposterous and frankly promoting loutish behaviour!"

Nobody was available to comment from The Plastic Flag Wavers Club of Chelski as Roman Abramovich had been tipped off by the secret police

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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