NFL To Feature Dog Fights At Games

Sunday, 9 September 2007

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Atlanta, Georgia (IP) - The NFL announced today that football fans will be able to enjoy dog fights during halftime when they attend football games.

They have set up special windows so as to facilitate gambling for the dog fights as well as for the football games. Sports gambling is already a 600 billion dollar a year industry so the football league figures they might as well capitalize on the action.

Everyone is familiar with the fixed playoff games a few years back involving the New England Patriots who got into the Super Bowl 2 years in a row thanks to obviously bad calls purposely made by the officials.

The dog fights will involve pit bulls and in the interest of decency, the league plans on having the dogs euthanized in a humane fashion. This proves how decent the league truly is.

In the future the football league would like to build coliseums not unlike the ones the Romans had in order to bring back the good ole days of the gladiators. American's thirst for blood is unquenchable. The gladiators would fight each other to the death and also they would be pitted against animals such as lions, tigers, and bears.

Social scientists and politicians believe that having folks participate in orderly and organized forms of government regulated violence would help to reduce violence in America's urban areas. The gladiator games would act as a pressure valve to release the violent social pressures that build up on a daily basis mostly in the inner urban areas. The rural areas also have their share of violence and rural folks could travel to the gladiator games in their pickup trucks after spending a year saving up enough money to attend a game or two.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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