Written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 13 June 2007

image for Bookmakers laugh off suggestions Andy Murray, Andy Roddick have Wimbledon hope in hell
Wimbledon: the true champs are always the bookies

Wimbledon - (Ass Mess): Internet spread-betting index Aintogottaprayer.com has poured scorn that either UK hope Andy Murray or former US Open winner Andy Roddick 'have a hope in hell' of winning this year's Wimbledon Men's Singles Championship:

"Nobody called 'Andy' has ever won before so we're laughing all the wy to the bank about the poor sods backing either of these two chumps over Federer, Nadal, Ancic or Hewitt," a bookies' source said today.

Federer remains 1/3 favorite and Nadal is still at 7/1. And while Roddick at 10/1 and Murray at 12/1 are getting plenty of backing 'big money sources' have said the 2007 championship is already a 'done deal'.

"Andy Roddick? A perennial let-down.

"He takes one look at the giant Federer and his balls melt to putty, year in, year out.

"That's why he fidgets and fumbles around so much. Subconsciously he already knows he's lost just as soon as Federer serves his very first ace at him.

"Now for Nadal. We just l-o-v-e taking money off the punters for this fierce-looking Spanish guy. Cute buns, big biceps and oozing testosterone, granted.

"But on our Wimbledon grass he gets color-blindness. Same as Federer on clay, the color just ain't right for him to win.

"Our longshot bet for this year's championship? Marcos Baghdatis and maybe James Blake. But only if injury puts Federer on the spot. Still, worth a try at 25/1 and 33/1.

"Don'cha just love it?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more