Perennial losers, the Boston Red Sux have decided to take a radical gamble on some new revolutionary uniforms for their home games. Team Owners announced: "We will not go another 80 years before another World Series championship. In the new world of sport, you've got to take chances and we are hoping the new Chippendale's look will vault us past those stodgy old Yankees and give us that few extra inches we need to be world champs again. Pinstripes are so yesteryear, flesh will mesh with our new image as the musclemen of the AL East"
Manny Ramirez is reported to love the new threadlessness: "I may even come to spring training if I can display my package!"
Objections have come from the RedSux ancient pitching staff."Bad enough I'm graying on top!", complained Kurt Schilling "Now when I lift my leg they'll see the gray down there!"