We thought Chelsea was involved with lots of British footballers but the Guardian announcement involving Delia Smith and Chelsea Clinton hit the Football world like a Monica Lewinsky!
Sexperts, Havinghurst and Colleen Duwurst explained: "We think this is a rare case of vaginissimus. You've all seen situations where dogs get "stuck together" and prudish old ladies run out and hit them with brooms. Of course, it does no good since anxiety causes the vaginal walls to clamp down on the "intruder" and the broom attack simply heightens the stress. Leave 'em alone and they'll come home...waggin' their tail behind'em".
Exactly what got stuck where is still somewhat of a mystery to all observers writes Matt Scott of the Guardian.
Ms Smith, usual gourmet of buttered toast, seems to resent foreign involvement in the Sport of Kings and Queens, British. She wants those 'darkies' out of White Soccer. "English Football for English Feet and English Balls", has become the rallying cry of her organization, English Feet and English Balls(EFEB).
Some day we may learn where Delia got stuck in Chelsea or vice-versa but for now let's keep our eye on the ball!