MELBOURNE - Previously indestructible England cricketer Peter Von Peterson, the last surviving touring England cricketer to survive the deadly Australian virus Louzer-Form (Trescothick strain EBGB) has finally fallen victim to the deadly strain thus causing the whole series to be declared a draw.
It struck him down during the final innings in the final day of the final test when he stood alone bravely defiant with a huge lead of 1. The virus is thought to be the reason why England lost all test matches, but bravely forced a draw. Newly appointed spokesman for the England team, Richie 'Flem' Von Flemington, who cannot be named or blamed for anything said:
'It has been a devastating tour, and one ve could not have envisaged. The deadly virus has now viped out even our bravest cricketer, and ve have no one left, therefore the whole series has been declared a draw. Of course people have made mistakes, but these are behind us now.'
Von Peterson (46) joined the rest of the team in hospital. Further tests on the player's abdomen are likely to reveal a particularly virulent viral case, and these virulent viruses, so often highly contagious, are likely to be confirmed as the real reasons why England's finest players underperformed all tour thus bravely securing the draw.
