Cricketing legend, Ian 'Beefy' Botham, has tonight hit out at England's sorry performance against America in Brazil, as they crashed out of the Ashes 23 nil.
The Ashes, so called because the urn contains the ashes of the balls of cricketing great WG Grace, are always hotly contested and for England to give them up under such spineless circumstances makes the big man's blood boil. He told The Spoof:
"Quite honestly it was crap. Flintstone should piss off back to Bedrock and that quarry. He was useless. As for the others...they were even worse. We may as well have just gone over there and handed the F A Cup straight over to Zidane! Pathetic!"
Beefy then stormed out of the studio and chinned a floor manager as he left. It's thought he then went to showbiz watering hole, The Ivy, where he got steaming drunk on alcopops before leaving at 4.30am punching a photographer for good measure.
England will now have to win the FA Premiership before getting another crack at the Ashes. The country won't be having a very merry Christmas and the team definitely will not be getting pissed up at the tax-payers expense this time. They'll have to buy their own if they want to do any of that sort of carry on.
