Written by Dave Henry

Thursday, 15 March 2018

image for Oklahoma Completely Fine with Losing in March Madness

Oklahoma was not at all upset after losing 83-78 to Rhode Island in the first round of the NCAA March Madness tournament.

“Honestly, we’re all completely fine with losing,” said coach Lon Kruger. “We didn’t really work that hard this year and the kids told me before the game that they weren’t really into it. We kind of just mailed it in.”

Trae Young, who led all scorers with 28 points, was glad to be going home.

“I’m not crazy about spending my spring break in, what, where are we, Omaha? I was kind of hoping to get out of here and head to Florida for the rest of spring break,” said Young.

Young, who led the nation in scoring with 27 points per game, is expected to declare for the NBA Draft. This will probably be his last game in college.

“This is exactly how I pictured going out,” said Young. “Had we won, we would have gotten destroyed by Duke and seriously, who needs that. It’s really a storybook ending.”

Rhode Island was pretty upset after winning as well.

“Meh. Yeah, it was fine,” said RI coach Danny Hurley after the win. “I’m really just glad it’s over because I’m super tired. It was such a pain in the neck to get here. It was snowing like crazy back home when we left, our flight was delayed, I forgot my book at home, my iPhone died, and I was sitting next to this baby that cried the whole flight.”

Hurley couldn’t understand why his team from the East had to travel halfway across the country to play in the Midwest Regional.

“What the hell is up with that?” Hurley said. “We’re the higher seed and we have to drag our asses halfway across the country. That’s bogus.”

Now he has to go back to his hotel room and study film on the winner of the Duke-Iona game.

“It just never ends,” said Hurley. “I really just want to go back to the hotel, chill out, and watch some bad TV, but nope, gotta get ready for Duke. Great. Honestly, I’ll be glad when it’s over.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Oklahoma




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