Written by Backandtotheleft

Sunday, 11 March 2018

Innovative football manager Alan Pardew has managed the impossible! He’s made fans of a club that used to have Tony Pulis in charge hate him more than they do Pulis. Which is a fantastic achievement as Pulis is the most fundamentally unlikable man in football. He is the living embodiment of that feeling when you’ve got piles but are desperate not to scratch them.

Pardew has done it by cementing West Broms place at the bottom of the league by way of a succession of heavy beatings. The latest coming from Leicester City who smacked four past them on Saturday, but Pardew remained defiant and committed to the cause!
Pardew said:

I’ll be having a meeting with the board this week and we’ll discuss how we can take West Brom forward. If that means sacking me, and I hope it does, then so be it.

Asked if he was still committed to West Broms fight he said:
Of course I am. I’m a fighter. I’ll fight for Albion. I’ll fight for the fans. I’ll fight for my players. I’ll fight for the last bag of nuts and I’ll fight you if you want.

We didn’t fancy it.

He rounded off with:

We’re going to do whatever is in the best interests of West Brom for the rest of the season. If that means sacking me, them accepting my resignation, me faking my death. Whatever it takes

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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