England Head Coach Shocker

Funny story written by Backandtotheleft

Wednesday, 24 January 2018


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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For the last few years women's football has been on an upward trajectory with record attendances at world cups, the Dutch side winning the European championships playing some excellent football and the standard of goal keeping improving to the point of keepers learning how to catch the ball. Then England's head coach managed to get himself in trouble and the FA risked looking like idiots again so had to act decisive and fast to appear strong.

Here was an opportunity to make a statement of intent to show the world that our FA respected the women's side as much as they do the men's. The chance to bring in a top top level manager was there to be grasped with both hands. Instead they went and got Phil Neville who's only management experience comes from spending time on the Valencia bench with brother Gary and that one weekend when he was left to supervise the pet food section in his local supermarket.

For someone who's never been to a women's game before he surprisingly didn't bother to apply for the job before he got it. His name was put forward by a TV broadcaster probably with the phrase:

"I'm sick of hearing that long faced Neville cunt talk on TV. Any chance you can get him the England Ladies job so he'll fuck off"

Of course with that glowing testimony and his unparalleled experience (remember the supervisor shift) it's no surprise that Neville landed the job.

Since being given the job (roughly one day ago) Phil has had to delete his Twitter account because of misogynistic Tweets he posted. In our eyes it would be funny if every player responded to his inevitable question "where do you play?" with the answer "the kitchen".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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