The new US government has bowed to the demands of their President and instead of holding their annual Water-Boarding World Championship at Guantanamo Bay, it will now take place in the dungeons of Trump Tower, NY.
All leading countries have been invited including China, North Korea; who will be sending their gold medal winner, WAN-KIN-DIK, and Kim Jong-Un is demanding another gold otherwise WAN-KIN-DIK will be castrated when he gets back home! Russia, Vietnam, Japan, Israel will send teams among others. Although the UK has not accepted the invitation?
Theresa May has decided to compete with the US for global attention this time instead of running up their rear-ends by announcing the "Dangling from lampposts" and "Beheading" Olympics in the Tower of London, of course where else, London is after all the epi-center of the world (so the Brits believe!). The games will be called the Henry the Eighth games in memory of he who loved to behead!
Most favourite teams will be in London and it promises to be a swinging, heady top Olympics this year. Those who will send their teams include Ireland, seeking revenge, Saudi Arabia, ex-gold medal winners, Iraq, Iran, most other Middle East countries including Palestine, and of course the absolute favourites ISIS. In addition, the star of the "Dangling" Olympics will certainly be a Trump hand-picked team from Alabama representing the KKK, and they have promised to perform in their uniforms! What a cracking showstopper that promises to be!
So sports friends 2017 promises to be one hell of a party although Italy will not attend, they're too busy fishing dead bodies out of the Mediterranean and are bankrupt! However in 2018, with financial support and blessing from the Vatican, they will be hosting all 3 disciplines in a refurbished Rome Colosseum! Nero is rocking and rolling in his grave!