ATLANTA - NASCAR Spokesperson Percy P. Pitterhorst, 73, stated that NASCAR officials have just finished a two day meeting in the city known as The Big Peach.
Pitterhorst told the sports media reporters that due to the pompous sabre-rattling that is going on in North Korea and Kim Jong Un's constant threats that he is going to attack the East Coast, the West Coast, and the Great Lakes area NASCAR has issued a directive.
The directive states that NASCAR will be cancelling all of the auto races it had planned for Pyongyang, North Korea including the Annual KIA 401 Classic which was scheduled for April 13.
NASCAR Driver's Union representative Larkin "Pistons" Waxington is in complete agreement with Pitterhorst and noted that out of the 17 NASCAR drivers in North Korea, all of them except for one have left the unstable-as-hell country.
Waxington stated that Clydell "Junior" Braxtonbocker stated that he will probably leave on Friday due to the fact that he wants to spend a little more time with his North Korean girlfriend, Kyung Soon Kimchong.
In Other News. Disgraced ex-Rutger's basketball coach Mike Rice has been asked if he would like to manage the new 429 pound WWF wrestling sensation Bambino the Blob.
