Euro 2012: Italians tell Spanish & Croatians 'Don't Mess With the Two Two'

Funny story written by radiogagger

Monday, 18 June 2012

image for Euro 2012: Italians tell Spanish & Croatians 'Don't Mess With the Two Two'
Italy's dilemma inspires a sing-song in the street

Italian football chiefs today warned Spain and Croatia that they would demand a full UEFA investigation if the two countries draw 2-2 in tonight's final group match, and eliminate the Italians regardless of their result v Republic of Ireland.

In a tightly contested Group C - jokingly dubbed the 'Group of Debt' by economists - Spain and Croatia currently both have 4 points, having both drawn with Italy and beaten Ireland, and a draw tonight would leave them both on 5 points, which Italy, currently on 2 points, could match with a win over bottom of the group Ireland.

A complex set of tournament rules mean if Spain and Croatia draw 1-1, Italy must win by two clear goals to qualify ahead of Croatia. But a 2-2 draw would mean Italy could not overtake the other two in the group, as Italy drew 1-1 against both. Spain beat Ireland 4-0, while Croatia beat them 3-1 in the opening group match. If England were to win their group, they could face the second placed team in Group C.

In Euro 2004, Italy were eliminated in a similar scenario when Sweden and Denmark drew 2-2. An extra layer of irony is the fact the Italian squad were hit by withdrawals and unrest following the arrest of players linked to match-fixing in the domestic league this season.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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