Krakow, Poland - Football fans from both Cracovia and Wisla Ultras groups made the unprecedented step of standing shoulder to shoulder in a conference room at the Swastaki Hotel, here today, in order to deny allegations of racism levelled at Polish football fans.
Breaking with a tradition of unbridled mutual hatred, these rivals on an epic scale, for once stood together to refute allegations by the Dutch football squad that there had been a serious outbreak of racist chanting at an open Euro 2012 training session held on Thursday in the city.
"We're not racists, and to suggest such a thing is patently ridiculous," Wisla Ultras leader Lech Bostik said. "We hate everybody. It has nothing whatsoever to do with race. We were carrying bananas because they were for our picnic - we like bananas, they're packed full of essential minerals and vitamins. And we were categorically not making monkey noises. Our boys were clearing throats of phlegm accumulated as result of working long hours in beetroot processing plant number seventy six."
"That is correct," Cracovia Ultras leader Stefan Bumcik seconded. "These people are positively paranoid. They say we are racists but they are wrong. As comrade Bostik just said; strange noise is result of long hours of toil in beetroot processing plant. Bananas are for nutrition. Flags show broken cross. That's all. Is Christian symbol. People say we are racist because we not have many black or Asian peoples here in Krakow - is nothing to do with racism. Is because it is too cold here for people raised in jungles. Simple. No problem."
When confronted by a journalist about racial attacks on the few people of colour in Polish cities in recent years, Bostik vehemently denied that any assaults had taken place.
"There have been no racial assaults in Poland," he declared. "Is nothing more than good Polish citizens giving coloured people slappings to help keep them warm in cold climate."
More as we get it. Comrades.
