After circus act Fernando Torres caught fire performing a hat-trick in Chelsea's 6-1 win over QPR in West London on Sunday, experts claim his hot spell is down to climate change.
Walter Waffleson from the Institute of Hot Air Studies, explained the circumstances. "Mr Torres came from Spain, a naturally hot country, and in his first year in England showed no sign of any problems, performing his day to day job in an expected manner in the Liverpool area. Gradually the wet weather up north took its toll and his persona could be described as no more than lukewarm at best, so he moved to the more milder conditions of London. Sadly it had the reverse effect, and he was completely out in the cold for one whole year".
As everybody around Mr Torres scratched their heads to explain the change in temperature, Mr Waffleson pointed to the solution.
"The answer was staring him in the face all along - a trip back to hotter climates in Spain to recharge his batteries".
Torres took a short midweek trip to Barcelona - taking his colleagues from the Roman circus with - where they partook in a kickabout session with locals.
Mr Waffleson continued "Torres suddenly regained his mojo - when other lads were clearly tired he looked fresh and while the other 21 players were in the Chelsea half of the pitch - he took the ball and rolled it in the locals unguarded net".
Torres mentor Roberto Di Matteo commented "I'm sure now the April showers are over Fernando will continue to be retain heat".
Supporters of the Stamford Bridge outfit are advised to stock up on sun-cream at the earliest opportunity (and also to expect long queues at Heathrow this summer)
