Manchester United and England central defender Harry Maguire drops in to help out with the details of the Champions League matches on a busy night in Europe. It was a busy night of European football last night, with many of the top teams involved...
London, UK - (COYS!): Mauricio Pochettino will pocket a stonking £50m bonus when the Lilywhites obliterate Liverpool in the Champions League cup final next Saturday at Wanda Metropolitano Stadium in Madrid. The deal sees Tottenham players guarant...
Manchester, England. A team of scientists working at the University of Old Trafford have issued a controversial report that seeks to contradict claims made by the wider public in England and the rest of the world that Liverpool FC are a special club.
"Everything must come to an end" is how another old saying goes, and it was never more appropriate than on Tuesday night at Anfield, as Barcelona, so long the dominant force in Eurpoean football, threw away a 3-0 advantage, and crumbled out of the Ch...
UEFA fat cats were astounded at the weekend when players from Premier League contenders for a place in their flagship competition, the Champions League, decided that they couldn't be arsed, and surrendered to their opponents during the Easter weekend...
Constantly bitching Manchester United coach Jose Mourinho says his team is "far" from being built in his own image as he prepares to face Liverpool at Anfield on Sunday. The United supremo told The Spoof "My team does not sulk, they are not negative,...
European champions Real Madrid celebrated last night after overcoming a resilient Liverpool side in the Champions League final in Kiev, then announced they have signed the Anfield club's German goalkeeper, Loris Karius. Madrid won the game 3-1 - t...
Beard lovers worldwide were glued to the Atletico Madrid vs Bayern Munich Champions League semi-final this evening, where Diego Simeone went head-to-head (or chin-to-chin) with Pep Guardiola in the most anticipated beard-off since the creation of Ami...
After the dire performances of all English clubs in the European Champions League the FA (Football Association for our US friends) has decided to withdraw all English clubs because it is fed up having an embarrassing red nose every time it has to exp...
Arsenal FC manager Arsene Wenger reported the theft of his credit card to his banks fraud team today. The football coach became suspicious that someone was using his card when coming across the £30 million purchase of Chilean striker Alexis Sanchez i...
Premier League front-runners Swansea today admitted they are planning an appeal should they banned from playing in the Champions League next season. A spokesman for UEFA confirmed it would be a problem for Swansea to represent England in the Champ...
Champions League Qualifying Rd, 2nd Leg. HJK Helsinki 0 Celtic 2 Celtic win 4-1 on aggregate. I'm no expert on the Finnish alphabet, but I'd say there's no 'I' in the HJK team. Panathinaikos 3 Motherwell 0 Motherwell, playing in the CL at the expense of crisis club Rangers (currently enjoying a 100% record in the Scottish Communities Cup 1st round and Scottish Third Division) crash out 5...
Following their Champions League Final win on penalties v Bayern Munich, Chelsea general manager Bruce Buck has announced that they are throwing open the doors of Stamford Bridge during the summer break to run motivational courses. "If we can succ...
After circus act Fernando Torres caught fire performing a hat-trick in Chelsea's 6-1 win over QPR in West London on Sunday, experts claim his hot spell is down to climate change. Walter Waffleson from the Institute of Hot Air Studies, explained th...
Unbelievable. Probably the only word to sum up Chelsea's performance at the Nou Camp tonight. The game didn't start well for Chelsea when they lost Gary Cahill to a strained sideburn after eleven minutes. It got worse when Sergio Busquets gave Bar...
Chelsea interim manager, peanut headed Roberto Di Matteo praised his "incredible pensioners" after they beat Napoli 4-1 to reach the last eight of the Champions League. Trailing 3-1 from the first leg in Naples, the senior citizens battled back...
Manchester United Yankee owner Win Doe Glazer has decided that the team will withdraw from all European fixtures for the rest of the season. A United spokesman confirmed the withdrawal, which will happen after next weeks Europa League second leg...
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