'Carroll is the new Torres' say Fashion Experts

Funny story written by radiogagger

Saturday, 14 April 2012

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Visitors from the North at Wembley Fashion Weekend

Fashion experts were today proclaiming the Andy Carroll haircut as the new Fernando Torres.

Speaking at Wembley Fashion Weekend - where Carroll showcased his trademark ponytail haircut by connecting his head to a football and putting it into the 'goal' in a kickabout between Liverpool and Everton, fashionistas were raving about the new style.

"Torres is so last season" said Gok Win, a fashion expert.

"Carroll is the future, Torres is the past" tweeted Alex Curran, a dedicated follower of fashion.

"Who needs a floppy blonde when you could go for a dashing, rough and ready all man ponytail?" said a spokesperson for Stella McCartney.

An insider at Wembley told the sloof "Two weeks ago neither the Carroll or Torres style were popular. Now Carroll has impressed everybody on two occasions this week, while Torres has also reminded us that he was a fashion icon not a flop, only 18 months ago"

Despite the widespread rejection of The Torres haircut, the man himself will also be at Wembley Fashion Weekend tomorrow hoping to convince the fashion world his locks can still 'do a job' when Chelsea play Tottenham Hotspur in an early evening kickabout.

Carroll will be back at Wembley with his football pals next month.

A lone Torres fan said "What I would really like to see is a 'hair to hair' battle between Carroll and Torres next month at Wembley".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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