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Saudi Cash Injection

According to a think tank of "investment consultants" (read: probable wankers) a large group of Saudi Arabian investors are looking to invest in a number of "top London" football clubs. A statement which immediately ruled Tottenham Hotspur out of the...

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Manchester United collapse leads to outbreak of humour

Funny story: Manchester United collapse leads to outbreak of humour

Comedy writers took to their computers in force this weekend to celebrate and mock Manchester United and their terrible form under new gaffer David Moyes. On twitter, @JohnNotTerry mocked up a pic of Moyes selling burgers in his new job. @Football...

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Football Gossip & comments 19th August 2012

Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 19th August 2012

Vurnon Anita has completed his move from Ajax to Newcastle United on a five-year contract. (BBC Sport) I reckon she'd form a great partnership with Andy Carroll. A new book claims that Manchester City "accidentally" made an offer for Lionel Messi, swiftly rejected, on the night the club was taken over by Sheikh Mansour in 2008. (Sunday Mirror) Messi in Manchester? What a load of old kaka.

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Football Gossip & comments 7th August 2012

Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 7th August 2012

Jack Sullivan, son of West Ham joint-chairman David, has said on Twitter that the club's interest in Liverpool striker Andy Carroll is over. (Daily Mirror) Mainly because Andy Carrolls interest in West Ham never began. Ravel Morrison, now on loan at Birmingham City, was flown home from West Ham's pre-season tour because he needed to have seven teeth removed. (Daily Mail) Don't they have den...

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Football Gossip & comments 2nd August 2012

Olympics Mens Football: GB beat Uruguay to reach quarters The team captained by Luis Suarez will now be known as UruGoingHome. Olympics Womens Football: GB beat Brazil at Wembley. The ladies showed they are as equal if not better than the men, Mainly by missing a penalty which would put them 2-0 up. The match was watched by 75,000, an incredible figure for womens football. Although hal...

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Andy Carroll "gotta talk proper" after West Ham move

Prolific* England striker Andy Carroll is to receive intensive linguistics training as part of his £2 million loan move from Liverpool to West Ham. One of the reasons for Carroll's lack of success at Liverpool following his £35 million move f...

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Football Gossip & comments 21st July 2012

Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 21st July 2012

Manchester United, Manchester City and Juventus confirm bids for Robin Van Persie from Arsenal. Leaving Wenger enough cash to sign another Frenchman... Birmingham supporter Rob Shannon has not missed one of his team's matches for 38 years, seeing the Blues play 1,800 consecutive games since 1974. And he only missed one that year because he was too ill to get out of bed. 1,800 consecutive...

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Football Gossip & comments 20th July 2012

Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 20th July 2012

Ledley King has announced his retirement from the top flight game after injuries stopped him from training between games. He will continue to turn out for Tottenham Hotspur. Stuart Pearce done a u-turn on a previous statement he made, saying he wanted the Players aged 23 and under in the Euro 2012 squad available for Team GB Olympic Football squad. Well at least someone wants Andy Carroll...

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Football Gossip & comments 17th July 2012

Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 17th July 2012

Liverpool striker Andy Carroll, 23, has told his representatives to secure him a return to Newcastle. (from the Newcastle Evening Chronicle) But the Reds will seek to recoup at least £20m from the sale of Carroll this summer, a valuation that will sorely test Newcastle's aspirations to re-sign the England striker (The Guardian) I can imagine the conversation now - Liverpool: "We want £20 mi...

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Sir Alex Ferguson hands Liverpool reject, Andy Carroll, a lifeline as his personal bodyguard!

Funny story: Sir Alex Ferguson hands Liverpool reject, Andy Carroll, a lifeline as his personal bodyguard!

Liverpool reject, Andy Carroll, received a surprise telephone call from Sir Alex Ferguson today and Andy initially hoped he would be joining Man Utd on a loan deal. But Sir Alex had another function in mind for Andy because football transfers between...

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Football Gossip & comments 11th July 2012

Funny story: Football Gossip & comments 11th July 2012

Harry Redknapp and Fabio Capello are on the 13 man shortlist for the Russia job. A 13 man short-list? I'd hate to see a Russian long list. Or is a Russian long-list the players names? Redknapp has however ruled himself for the job. Shame - I was looking forward to using the headline 'From Taxing Trouble to Russian Roubles' Andy Carroll is considering a loan deal to AC Milan, after rumours...

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'Carroll is the new Torres' say Fashion Experts

Funny story: 'Carroll is the new Torres' say Fashion Experts

Fashion experts were today proclaiming the Andy Carroll haircut as the new Fernando Torres. Speaking at Wembley Fashion Weekend - where Carroll showcased his trademark ponytail haircut by connecting his head to a football and putting it into the...

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Transfer Window: Arsene Wenger swoops in for Carrol as tactical signing

Funny story: Transfer Window: Arsene Wenger swoops in for Carrol as tactical signing

Arsene Wenger has long opposed the transfer window and refused to sign players in the January, but has gone back on the statement after a recent mathematical blunder in the home defeat to Manchester United and swooped in for former Countdown brainbo...

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No Liverpool Debut For Carroll

Funny story: No Liverpool Debut For Carroll

Record Liverpool signing Andy Carroll will not be considered for the upcoming fixture with West Ham on Saturday. Interim manager Kenny Dalglish told the press that "although he's almost back to full training, Andy's not quite ready to make his deb...

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Breaking news…

Trump Thinks Deaths at End of Avengers Infinity Wars Were Real

He sends the Secret Service to the movie set of Avengers 4 to do some investigating.
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