According to a think tank of "investment consultants" (read: probable wankers) a large group of Saudi Arabian investors are looking to invest in a number of "top London" football clubs. A statement which immediately ruled Tottenham Hotspur out of the...
Comedy writers took to their computers in force this weekend to celebrate and mock Manchester United and their terrible form under new gaffer David Moyes.
On twitter, @JohnNotTerry mocked up a pic of Moyes selling burgers in his new job. @Football...
Vurnon Anita has completed his move from Ajax to Newcastle United on a five-year contract.
I reckon she'd form a great partnership with Andy Carroll.
A new book claims that Manchester City "accidentally" made an offer for Lionel Messi, swiftly rejected, on the night the club was taken over by Sheikh Mansour in 2008.
Messi in Manchester? What a load of old kaka.
Jack Sullivan, son of West Ham joint-chairman David, has said on Twitter that the club's interest in Liverpool striker Andy Carroll is over.
Mainly because Andy Carrolls interest in West Ham never began.
Ravel Morrison, now on loan at Birmingham City, was flown home from West Ham's pre-season tour because he needed to have seven teeth removed.
Don't they have den...
Olympics Mens Football: GB beat Uruguay to reach quarters
The team captained by Luis Suarez will now be known as UruGoingHome.
Olympics Womens Football: GB beat Brazil at Wembley.
The ladies showed they are as equal if not better than the men,
Mainly by missing a penalty which would put them 2-0 up.
The match was watched by 75,000, an incredible figure for womens football.
Prolific* England striker Andy Carroll is to receive intensive linguistics training as part of his £2 million loan move from Liverpool to West Ham.
One of the reasons for Carroll's lack of success at Liverpool following his £35 million move f...
Manchester United, Manchester City and Juventus confirm bids for Robin Van Persie from Arsenal.
Leaving Wenger enough cash to sign another Frenchman...
Birmingham supporter Rob Shannon has not missed one of his team's matches for 38 years, seeing the Blues play 1,800 consecutive games since 1974. And he only missed one that year because he was too ill to get out of bed.
Ledley King has announced his retirement from the top flight game after injuries stopped him from training between games.
He will continue to turn out for Tottenham Hotspur.
Stuart Pearce done a u-turn on a previous statement he made, saying he wanted the Players aged 23 and under in the Euro 2012 squad available for Team GB Olympic Football squad.
Well at least someone wants Andy Carroll...
Liverpool striker Andy Carroll, 23, has told his representatives to secure him a return to Newcastle. (from the Newcastle Evening Chronicle) But the Reds will seek to recoup at least £20m from the sale of Carroll this summer, a valuation that will sorely test Newcastle's aspirations to re-sign the England striker (The Guardian)
I can imagine the conversation now -
Liverpool: "We want £20 mi...
Liverpool reject, Andy Carroll, received a surprise telephone call from Sir Alex Ferguson today and Andy initially hoped he would be joining Man Utd on a loan deal. But Sir Alex had another function in mind for Andy because football transfers between...
Harry Redknapp and Fabio Capello are on the 13 man shortlist for the Russia job.
A 13 man short-list? I'd hate to see a Russian long list. Or is a Russian long-list the players names?
Redknapp has however ruled himself for the job.
Shame - I was looking forward to using the headline 'From Taxing Trouble to Russian Roubles'
Andy Carroll is considering a loan deal to AC Milan, after rumours...
Fashion experts were today proclaiming the Andy Carroll haircut as the new Fernando Torres.
Speaking at Wembley Fashion Weekend - where Carroll showcased his trademark ponytail haircut by connecting his head to a football and putting it into the...
Arsene Wenger has long opposed the transfer window and refused to sign players in the January, but has gone back on the statement after a recent mathematical blunder in the home defeat to Manchester United and swooped in for former Countdown brainbo...
Record Liverpool signing Andy Carroll will not be considered for the upcoming fixture with West Ham on Saturday.
Interim manager Kenny Dalglish told the press that "although he's almost back to full training, Andy's not quite ready to make his deb...
Sorry, you can't go back any further!
Name Calling Trump
Trump to Seek Re-erection
Donald Trump, Jr. Blames His Divorce on Obama
Who Will Replace Hope Hicks In The White House?
Clown Union Assures Trump He'll Always Have A Home With Them
Blue tits, lavender tits, silicone tits!
F.B.I. Deputy Director Andrew McCabe
Scamatology TV Has Resulted in Flood of New Visits to Orgs
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!