Written by PC1

Thursday, 9 March 2006

image for Dubai Sports World To Run US Sports Operations

Dubai Sports World, a UAE state owned sports operator, has bought the rights to run several sports operations inside the US , including Major League Baseball, the NFL and the NBA.

While several senators and sports team owners were shocked to hear that the deal was allowed to go through, Baseball commissioner, Bud Selig said he was unaware of the pending sale until the deal already had been approved by his administration and several team owners.

"But the commissioner did make sure to check with all the sports officials that were part of this process," Major League spokesman, Rich Levin told Sports Illustrated today, "and all the umpires, coaches and even the bat-boys and the hot dog vendors said that they were comfortable with this transaction being approved."

Levin told Sports illustrated: "Dubai Sports World will not be in charge of security at any of the baseball parks or sports stadiums. Maybe we'll let them run the parking lots and sell a few T-Shirts, but that's about it."

Levin was questioned about reports that the UAE had ties to al Qaeda prior to 9/11 and that perhaps al Qaeda terrorists will now find a way to infiltrate Major League Baseball . "I don't know about the UAE's ties to al Qaeda," Levin said, "but, I could assure you that any baseball player found to be connected with al Qaeda will be suspended from baseball for at least 2 weeks and will never be inducted into the Hall Of Fame. Athletes should never get mixed up with any kind of political organizations, period!"

New York Yankees owner George Steinbrenner is one owner that seems to be unhappy with the latest news."I don't think it makes any sense for the American League to be run by the UAE," he said. "And I'm warning Bud Selig, if the UAE tries to change the name of my team to the Dubai Yankees, I'm out of here."

However, Bud Selig said that he thinks al Qaeda's connections with the UAE state-owned company could provide a much needed benefit to Major League Baseball.

"We haven't been able to prevent baseball players from using steroids as evidenced by the latest book to come out on Barry Bonds," Selig said. "Now, I know for a fact that al Qaeda doesn't pander to their athletes like we do here in America. Any athlete of theirs suspected of taking performance-enhancing substances is suspended from terrorist sports activities indefinitely and usually gets beheaded if found guilty. We need to implement the same procedures over here in the US. And maybe some al Qaeda sports officials infiltrating here into America could execute those punishments a little bit better than we can."

Selig also said that allegations that the UAE royal family had gone on frequent hunting expeditions with Osama Bin Laden prior to 9/11(http://www.voicesofse
pt11.org/artman/publish/homeland_security/article_002607.php) just proves that "those guys enjoy sports activities a real lot."

"Falconing has been a favorite sport of the UAE for quite some time," he said. "I'm sure Osama is no match for those guys as far as hunting goes, but, he certainly knows a lot about aviation sports. His terrorists have totally decimated our pilots in recent aviation competitions held near the World Trade Center and outside the Pentagon."

Selig added "I wonder how Osama's guys would fare in running port operations and if they're any good in boat racing. I know that a small boat of theirs once attacked the U.S.S. Cole in Yemen, killing 17 US sailors. This just shows the athleticism of al Qaeda's terrorists. I'm telling you, I really am looking forward to working with Osama and the UAE. It will be a lot a lot of fun, while it lasts....."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Baseball, Dubai

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