India has chosen super-clean Chelsea star and super-monogamist (monogamy is classified as very healthy in India), John Terry, as their health ambassador for 2012. The Indian ministry for sport and health chose John because of his upstanding morals and sacrifices for a better world. His face has now appeared on the packets of Indians' most popular cigarettes.
The Indian Minister for sport and health, Smogi Guru-Singh, explained to the world's press why John is such a superb example of clean-living and thoroughly deserves to have his visage displayed to billions of healthy, smoking Indians (not those who send signals), here his statement:
"In India we encourage everybody to smoke because we believe it counteracts the filth and smog that are abundant in our cities. It keeps everybody out of hospital because they all go directly to the morgue. It's a win-win situation, we create billions of tobacco taxes whilst saving billions on hospital costs, so John being the clean living person he is, is a perfect example for all of our young, healthy people!"
Other famous Brit soccer players are queueing up for the position in 2013 and it looks as though pot-smoking Aston Villa super-star, Stephen Ireland, will land the job: More as we get it, cough, cough!