Manchester's pride and joy have both gone a.w.o.l. United and city decided not to turn up for their new years games so the clubs were forced to field "skeleton" teams.
Chelsea and Tottenham players also decided to go a.w.o.l. and were last seen floating down the Thames pissed out of their brains on a barge called the Marie Celeste.
Fans of the clubs are asking the question why? The answer is obvious and here it is: Over-paid footie stars are sick to death of not being able to booze and stuff their faces with turkey, christmas puddings, etc, over the festive period so they all decided not to turn up.
One very over-paid footie star who shall remain anonymous (first letter W last letter Y) gave the following statement:
"I get paid 200000 quid a week and I demand the right to be treated just like our German and Italian competitors; they have Christmas and new year off and I want to get pissed out of my brains just like they do, so f++k the fans, Sir A++x and the rest of em!"
The other a.w.o.l players all agreed and decided to stay at home leaving their over-paid managers with a bunch of skeletons to perform in front of their very disappointed fans.
The only players to turn up were the lesser paid ones who are fighting for their lives at lesser clubs proving the point that money is certainly at the root of all evil especially in English pro-soccer!
