Manchester United Promise To 'Go Easy' On Everton

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Wednesday, 26 October 2011

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Everton fans can relax - signals emerging from Manchester Utd today suggest all is well in the Red Devils camp after a stroll out in the Carling Cup on Tuesday night.

There had been fears that following Utd's 6-1 home mauling at the hands of deadly rivals, Manchester City, they would go berserk and utterly destroy their next opponents.

But a gentle 3-0 win at Aldershot on Tuesday seems to have calmed a lot of nerves.

"Yes, the usual response of these guys after a setback is to go out and rip some poor saps to pieces the next time a ball is kicked in anger," said an Old Trafford insider.

Everton sources suggest that the prospect of facing Utd on Saturday was causing a lot of concern, and there were even attempts to have the game postponed.

"No, Sir Alex has been on to Moyesie again and assured him that Utd will go easy on the Toffees," said the Utd source.

"Obviously we have a soft spot for Everton as Rooney came from there - so we'll keep it down to around five or six."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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