There were 31 spoof news snippets published in May 2019. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
Trump Sues German Bank to Conceal His Dirty Money Laundry
In a panicked attempt to keep his dirty money laundry from being aired, Donald Trump sues German bank.
written by C/L, 01 May 2019
Putin Creates Polonium Tea Company
In an effort to broaden Russian trade to more than just gas, weapons, and hacking, Putin establishes the Polonium Tea Company.
written by C/L, 01 May 2019
Barr compares Mueller's Phone Call to Charlie Brown Cartoon Voice
Bill Barr claims that all he could hear during Mueller's complaint call over his report was the Charlie Brown teacher's voice, "whaaa, whaaa, whaaa, waaa."
written by C/L, 01 May 2019
Rumors Confirm That Mulvaney Rides Around the Oval Office on Children's Tricycle
Donald Trump delights in watching Mick Mulvaney ride around the oval office on a child's tricycle while lauding Trump for his "fiscal genius."
written by C/L, 01 May 2019
Flying Kremlin Monkeys Signal the Start of Putin's 2020 US Presidential Election Interference Season
Flying monkeys carrying laptop computers and wearing confederate flag T-shirts seen flying around the Kremlin in a lead-up to 2020 presidential election, interference season.
written by C/L, 01 May 2019
Wanker's Chocolate Factory to Merge with King Potty Septic Treatment Corporation
Wanker's Chocolate Factory receives approval from the Trump administration to merge with King Potty Septic Treatment Corporation.
written by C/L, 02 May 2019
William Barr Slated to Spend Another Day in the Justice Department Laughing at the Constitution
William Barr is slated to spend yet another day with his feet up on his desk flouting the rule of law and trashing democracy while he eats cheeseburgers and follows Trump's tweets.
written by C/L, 02 May 2019
New Reality Show Cake Room Escape Room to Air and be Cancelled Soon
A new ridiculous reality show Cake Room Escape Room, is set to make its disastrous debut, followed by its imminent cancellation.
written by C/L, 02 May 2019
Cooking Shows Just Destroy People's Dreams
A recent study concludes that harsh reality cooking shows just make aspiring chefs feel like shit, and crush their hopes and dreams.
written by C/L, 02 May 2019
Surgeon Discovers Trump's Brain in Colo-Rectal Region
Bethesda Naval Hospital surgeon halts procedure to remove large mass in President Trump's upper rectum when he realizes the mass is actually critical brain tissue.
written by C/L, 03 May 2019
Friendly Russian Recruited Beluga Spy Disappears
Friendly Russian-recruited, Beluga whale spy disappears after seafaring camera crew blows its cover.
written by C/L, 03 May 2019
NRA Officially Adopts The Kalashnikov Assault Rifle as its Emblem to Honor Russian Oligarchs
The NRA adopts the Kalashnikov assault rifle as its official emblem in honor of Russian oligarch's continued efforts to aid in the establishment of authoritarianism in America.
written by C/L, 04 May 2019
Mattel Anounces Its Witless, Lying, Clueless Pygmy Line
Branching out in new novelty items, Mattel added the Jerry Nadslur, the Adam Shifty-Sh*tty, and Ilan Omygallallah, an AOC-Beanstalk, a Beto-Blatherer, a Bernie-Loonie, and a Biden-B-Goofy to its line.
written by Trinculoman, 04 May 2019
President's Orwellian Campaign to Rehabilitate Fascism Continues Unabated
Yesterday in an hour-long phone call with Russian dictator Vladimir Putin, President Trump took painstaking notes about Putin's fascist strategy on large newsprint pad in crayon.
written by C/L, 04 May 2019
The Kardashians Moving Into Politics
If the Kardashians were to go into politics, they would be the Trumps.
written by K.C. Bell, 04 May 2019
Supreme Court Disqualifies Trump, Removes him from Presidency
A review of tapes from the Republican 2016 presidential debates reveals that Trump bumped Ohio governor Kasich as the candidates entered the stage for the second debate.
written by Ralph E. Shaffer, 06 May 2019
Authorities Shut Down Sperm Bank-Yogurt Shop
Health inspectors shut down a sperm bank that was also operating a yogurt shop on the back side of its lab facility.
written by C/L, 09 May 2019
Western Nationalists Insure Russian Dingle-berry Crop
Oligarchs scam stupid nationalist investors with two-hundred-billion-dollar Russian dingle-berry crop insurance scheme.
written by C/L, 09 May 2019
Donald Trump to Merge the Federal Reserve with Deutsche Bank
In a desperate effort to keep his Russian-backed tax returns from being revealed, Donald Trump has ordered Steve Mnuchin to merge the Federal Reserve with Deutsche Bank.
written by C/L, 10 May 2019
Woman Allowed to Bring Emotional Support Marijuana Plant on Overseas Flight
A woman with the world's first carry-on emotional support marijuana plant is allowed to board an overseas flight bound for Tehran.
written by C/L, 10 May 2019
Annual Clam Festival Called off over Post Nasal Drip Concerns
Annual clam festival called off over organizer's concerns that a high number of attendees with post nasal drip, could ruin the affair in the same disgusting way that it was the year before.
written by C/L, 10 May 2019
Freddie Starr eaten by hamster
Aged rocker found dead in his Spanish villa between two slices of bread, being nibbled by a Russian dwarf hamster.
written by Mark, 10 May 2019
American Company to Produce Depleted Uranium Utensils
An American silverware company has resorted to using depleted uranium in the manufacture of all of its dinner utensil lines produced in China. to survive the ongoing Trump tariff war.
written by C/L, 12 May 2019
Trump, on the Fight between Heaven and Hell
When asked by his pastor where he stands on the struggle between Heaven and Hell, Donald Trump replied:
"There are very fine people on both sides."
written by Ralph E. Shaffer, 13 May 2019
Alabama’s Abortion Law Footnote
Alabama’s abortion law footnote few men have noticed: Any male who is responsible for pregnancy either by rape or incest or unwanted artificial insemination will be subject to immediate castration.
written by K.C. Bell, 16 May 2019
Trump's Economy Created 200,000 Jobs in April
100,000 are telemarketers, and the other 100,000 prepare the robocalls.
written by Ralph E. Shaffer, 17 May 2019
Mueller Reappears After Being Missing for 48 Hours
Agents insist that Mueller's disappearance had nothing to do with the bill for Forensic Hypnosis.
written by Al N., 17 May 2019
Trump Takes Out Large Mortgage on White House
The Senate and Supreme Court both see nothing wrong with the latest Trump development.
written by Al N., 17 May 2019
US Citizens Opt for Late Term Abortion on Elected Officials
In wake of mass attacks on women's rights and scientific advancement, US citizens have opted for a Late Term Abortion of their elected officials before the next elections.
written by Xavier Fairbanks, 17 May 2019
Mueller Admits He Hasn't Read the Mueller Report
"I'm on page 284. When I'm done reading it, I'll say whether Trump is guilty or not," Mueller said.
written by Al N., 31 May 2019
Kim Jong Un Offers to Let Trump Ride on the Rocket on North Korea's Next Rocket Test
Donald Trump declined, but Eric and Don Jr. said, "Hell, yeah!"
written by Al N., 31 May 2019
