There were 520 spoof news snippets published in 2017. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

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When Dreaming is not Dreaming or when it Is?

After falling asleep watching TV, a man woke up to find out he was dreaming that he had awoken from watching the news. There was nothing memorable about the news. He may have slept through it--or not.

written by D. L. Hawkinson, 06 October 2017

Forgotten Keys

47 years ago, at 7:45 a.m., Ed Terwilliger stopped on his way to his car, thinking he'd forgotten his keys. He felt his front pocket--reassured he had them--and left for work in his neighbor's car.

written by D. L. Hawkinson, 18 September 2017

Man Apologizes while Running Marathon

Runner Bart Snard apologized to other runners, who collapsed on the track. "I ate Beef-a-Reeno; it fermented or something." Said one runner: "I'm never running again. I think I have lung damage."

written by D. L. Hawkinson, 15 September 2017

Dead Man Walking

A woman greeted a neighbor, covered in dirt. "You must be working hard in your garden," she said. She later read his obituary. He'd been dead for 5 days. She wondered if she could still buy flowers.

written by D. L. Hawkinson, 19 December 2017

KK robbed at gunpoint in Paris!

KK (name changed for legal reasons) was robbed of 10 kilos of her favorite jewelry in Paris! She thanked the robbers because now she feels 10 kilos lighter, and sod the money, she has enough!

written by Jaggedone, 09 January 2017

Chris Christie Eats Five Guys

As the "Chickengate" scandal from the 2016 election grows, the New Jersey governor claims he's never even heard of KFC.

written by XRhonda Speaks, 27 May 2017

Queen Decides She Will Skip Over Prince William and Make Prince George the Next King

"I figured, if we are going to go for a younger king, let's go all the way!" said the Queen.

written by Al N., 10 August 2017

Global warming threatens freezing Europe!

Another attack of global warming has descended upon Europe! In fact sitting here in Holland in my swimming trunks with a runny nose is not what they predicted!Let's hope they predict a new Ice Age!

written by Jaggedone, 08 January 2017

President Trump Backtracks On Waterboarding

"I thought it was just a sport and that the Muslims had a phobia about surfing."

written by XRhonda Speaks, 22 January 2017

One of Trump's Childhood Babysitters Will Be Head of the Department of Homeland Security

"I always felt safe whenever she was the babysitter" spoke Trump.

written by Al N., 29 June 2017

NASA news

Due to government budget cuts NASA announced plans for their next excursion. "We are going to the Seattle Space Needle, its cheaper than outer space" stated director Jim Beam.

written by Jodi S Breeze, 10 July 2017

From Secret Service to Leaky Service

The Secret Service has announced they are changing names. "Its true," said a spokesman." POTUS has a prostate problem, we spend a large portion of time securing bathrooms, sometimes he leaks"

written by Jodi S Breeze, 11 July 2017

Trump to Order all Non-White Supremacists to Wear White Armband with Peace Sign On It

Republicans refused to comment on the order.

written by Al N., 29 August 2017

UFO sightings hit all-time high

Since recreational marijuana was legalized in Colorado in 2012, more UFO sightings have been reported in the state than ever before, but legislators insist the correlation is merely coincidental.

written by Gee Pee, 06 March 2017

Trump Wants to End Phone Service in White House and Install Telegraph Instead.

He is also having all the computers removed and replaced with American-made 1950's IBM Mainframes.

written by Al N., 02 January 2017

Brazil support vegetarians by flogging rotten meat!

In a perverse manner by "killing 2 cows with 1 meat hook" Brazil are now the "Messiah" of healthy living by flogging rotting meat to the world! A genial way to make the world vegetarian!

written by Jaggedone, 18 March 2017

Trump is Trying to Bring Osama Bin Laden Back to Life

He has vowed to undo EVERYTHING Obama ever did.

written by Al N., 18 December 2017

Honey Boo Boo To Sing At Trump Inauguration

The chubby vixen is planning on singing the national anthem Marylin Monroe style.

written by XRhonda Speaks, 09 January 2017

What's In Trump's Folders?

Trump aides jealously guarded the folders during the President elect's news conference and for good reason: it turns out they were the resumes of models "disappeared" by Trump International Talent.

written by XRhonda Speaks, 11 January 2017

Trump: Pink floyd To Pay For Wall

The President elect will seek funding from Congress and then he will send the bill to the band.

written by XRhonda Speaks, 14 January 2017

Obama Joins Jedi Council

Barrack Obama is only the second African-American to be knighted by the Jedi Council after Samuel Jackson.

written by XRhonda Speaks, 01 April 2017

Trump Pardons Bill Cosby

"All he did was grab some pussy and you can get elected President and do that!" explained Trump.

written by Al N., 02 April 2017

Melania Trump Announces Divorce

Melania Trump will paint Trump Tower pink and rename it once Donald moves to the White House. Castle Pussylvania and Pussy Pylon are two of the possible new names. read more

written by XRhonda Speaks, 16 January 2017

Theresa pulls the plug on Europe!

New Iron lady, Theresa May (no relation to Maggie), has pulled the plug on Europe and Europeans are hoping she disappears down her own plughole!

written by Jaggedone, 17 January 2017

Walmart fires thousands

Walmart laid off 307,000 associates but promises to relocate them. The company has hired United Airlines to re-accommodate them.

written by Gee Pee, 12 April 2017

United Airlines CEO supports employees

After his employees demanded officials drag a customer from a plane so an employee could take his seat, the airline's CEO praised them. "They followed our standard operating procedure."

written by Gee Pee, 12 April 2017

United Airlines Now Offers Both a Red-Eye Flight and a Black-Eye Flight

The friendly skies just ain't what they used to be!

written by Al N., 13 April 2017

Bank robber Mr. Lawrence Ripple; hero or woozy?

70 year-old Kansas born Mr.Lawrence Ripple robbed a bank to escape beatings from his wife from HELL! Now is he a matcho hero or just a woozy? Depends on what side of the frying pan you are on I guess!

written by Jaggedone, 24 January 2017

Coca Cola banned in France! It causes too many Qui Qui's!

France have banned refills of sugared soft drinks because they make the French "Qui Qui" too much and their sugared "qui qui" is causing sewer rats to become obese!No more fat rats si'l vous plait!

written by Jaggedone, 27 January 2017

US President Decrees That Suspected Witches In The US Be Arrested

'We realise this is irrational,' said an apologist for Donald Trump, 'but those who voted for him are frightened by this group, and the President must be seen to take action.'

written by Swan Morrison, 29 January 2017

US President Decrees That The Underside Of All US Bridges Be Checked For Hungry Trolls

'We realise this is irrational,' said an apologist for Donald Trump, 'but those who voted for him are frightened by this group, and the President must be seen to take action.'

written by Swan Morrison, 29 January 2017

Congressman Chaffetz Has Foot Removed From Mouth

Still in a cast after the historic surgery, the head of the house oversight committee hopes to get back to the investigation of Hillary Clinton's role in the Russian hacking of the 2016 election.

written by XRhonda Speaks, 02 May 2017

US President Decrees That A Roof Be Built Over The US To Prevent US Citizens Being Abducted By Extra-Terrestrials

'We realise this is irrational,' said an apologist for Donald Trump, 'but those who voted for him are frightened by this group, and the President must be seen to take action.'

written by Swan Morrison, 29 January 2017

US President Decrees That All American College Graduates Be Stripped Of Their Citizenship

'We realise this is irrational,' said an apologist for Donald Trump, 'but those who voted for him are frightened by this group, and the President must be seen to take action.'

written by Swan Morrison, 29 January 2017

Milky Boobs being controlled at European Airports!

European Airports are doing "squeeze titty controls" on women entering from the Far East without babies but with tits full of milk and a pump! Trump is demanding to control all "pussies" too!

written by Jaggedone, 31 January 2017

Prince of Darkness empties his closet!

Rattling skeleton bones and skulls, Ozzy Osbourne has admitted he's not the Prince of Darkness! In face he's so demented he doesn't even know who Satan is and calls himself now "Prince of Pussies!"

written by Jaggedone, 05 February 2017

Melania Trump Pulls Out Knife When Donald Tries to Hold Her Hand

Everyone within hearing range heard her say, "Do it again and I'll cut you!"

written by Al N., 26 May 2017

Journalists Calling Kim Jong-Un Smarter than Trump

"At least they still want clean air..." said reporters as U.S. withdraws from Paris Accord.

written by Al N., 02 June 2017

Doctors Discover Cause of Trump Turning Orange

Doctors reveal that Trump's increasingly orange complexion is due to all the Golden Showers he gets.

written by Al N., 16 February 2017

D List Comedian Kathy Griffin Finds New Gig in Remote Venue

Griffin scored what looks like a perma-gig in Nontetepapandia- former French African colony. Kathster will serve,Salome-like, as slave to the King, serving up roasted heads for court consumption.

written by Trinculoman, 19 June 2017

Trump Bans Ghettos

"I think all the poverty, the crime and drug dealing is in the ghetto so we are banning ghettos."

written by Al N., 24 June 2017

UK schoolboys wearing skirts!

The heatwave brings the weirdest out of people and schoolboys wearing schoolgirls skirts is weird, but then again, at least they aint big girl's blouses! Free the COJONES!

written by Jaggedone, 05 July 2017

Brazilian GREEN puppy is an alien!

A golden retriever that gave birth to a GREEN puppy is not its real mum, an alien is! A UFO was seen flying over Brazil as dad did it doggy style! Now we all know Martians exist because dogs do too!

written by Jaggedone, 15 July 2017

Trump Sends Secret Service to Walter Reed Hospital to Find the Gang of Green

"I just saw somewhere that someone there died because of gang of green. We're on it!" said Trump.

written by Al N., 23 July 2017

Goat gives birth to Arab after THIS happens

Due to the flagrantly graphic beastiality photographed in this story, it is suggested you read the entire article at once, unless of course it is censored in your country!

written by Aspartame Boy, 28 July 2017

President Trump Locks Eric Trump in the Tower of Trump Tower

"Eric broke and admitted to the press that he helped fund my campaign with charity money. Too weak!"

written by Al N., 05 August 2017

Lewinsky featured on new "adult" product

Monica Lewinsky's licensed likeness will appear on knee pads sold in adult bookstores and porno theater gift shops. Her face appears on each pad, above the caption, "At your service, Mr. President!"

written by Gee Pee, 05 March 2017

Pelosi vows to resist repeal of Obummercare

Senate Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi says she's not about to sit idly by while Obummercare is repealed. "I need the insurance to pay for my plastic surgery and Botox!"

written by Gee Pee, 05 March 2017

New Yorker Mag Sinks to Lowest Depth Yet

New Yorker advocates treason by headlining traitorous trannie Chelsea Manning in their forthcoming annual radical chic group grope. Surely Pardoned in Chief Obama will be there as Chelsea's date.

written by Trinculoman, 07 September 2017

Costco to cost more

Costco announced it's raising membership fees so it can continue to give shoppers low prices.

written by Gee Pee, 05 March 2017

Bimbo Bread changes name

After being charged with sexism, Bimbo Bread is changing its name. Henceforth, it will be known as Virgin Slices.

written by Gee Pee, 05 March 2017

California home to most homeless

Due to its liberal politics and socialistic economy, The Golden State has more homeless and more rich people than any other state in America.

written by Gee Pee, 05 March 2017

Self-driving cars "too expensive," critic says

Auto mechanic Ben Fixt says, at their anticipated price of $300,000 each, self-driving cars will be too expensive for him. "I'd rather walk," he said.

written by Gee Pee, 05 March 2017

Elton John Demands Royalty from Trump Over Using the Term Rocket Man

Kim Jong Un said he would rather be Capt. Fantastic, Levon, or even Honky Cat more than Rocket Man.

written by Al N., 22 September 2017

Trump Will Have Every Puerto Rican's Paychecks Garnished Until Hurricane Maria Damage is Paid Off

...Even though the Federal Government hasn't actually done anything yet...

written by Al N., 06 October 2017

Vice-President Pence Leaves Colts vs. 49ers Game During Protests

He thought they were bowing to him, and when he found out they weren't, he got embarrassed and left.

written by Al N., 10 October 2017

Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, and Bill O'Reilly to Form Club

It'll be a branch of the He-Man Woman Haters Club.

written by Al N., 13 October 2017

Trump Will Stop Calling Gold Star Parents and Will Just Tweet Them Instead

The message will be the same: "He knew what he was signing" & "Sorry he was an unsuccesful soldier."

written by Al N., 20 October 2017

White Supremacists and KKK Deny Support of Trump

"Even us racists are too embarrassed of him to give him our support" said a guy dressed like Hitler.

written by Al N., 22 October 2017

Previously Unknown Angle on Clinton Funding of Fusion GPS Now Revealed

Clinton campaign paid not only to tell lies about Trump in Russia, but also paid Agent Steele to pimp for Bubba in Moscow after $500K speech. Real narrative is about Bubba shagging Russki whores.

written by Trinculoman, 29 October 2017

Trump Goes to Hit the Button, But Can't Get it To Work

Luckily for the world, his little, tiny fingers don't have enough strength to push the button!

written by Al N., 01 November 2017

Trump Again Flees Country as Russian Investigation Heats Up

The tour will concentrate on countries that don't have extradition agreements with the U.S.

written by Al N., 03 November 2017

"The Spoof" is now paying writers to claim that "The Spoof" is now paying writers

In a press release Tuesday, the CEO stated that "the best part is nobody actually gets paid." Several writers, including this one, have expressed annoyance upon realizing that it was all a spoof.

written by Carl Magnussen, 16 November 2017

Trump Tweets He Suspects That Hillary is Aiding the North Koreans

"Crooked Hillary has been seen exiting Korean restaurants. This MUST be looked into. Sad!" he said.

written by Al N., 16 November 2017

Trump Denies Relationship With Putin

"If I liked men, and I don't, Putin would be too unattractive for me. I am only attracted to beauty.

written by Al N., 18 November 2017

Turkish Kebab restaurants in Holland go up in flames!

Dutch / Turkish diplomatic relationships have hit rock bottom, why? It's all about a "Turkish storm brewing in a Dutch teacup" Nothing more!

written by Jaggedone, 12 March 2017

Congressman Conyers's Predatory Sexual Harassing Misunderstood

Former female staffer of Conyers reports being called into his DC office only to find him wearing only boxers. But she didn't know he was only practicing to be Chief Underpants Officer of the House.

written by Trinculoman, 23 November 2017

Bill Cosby's Lawyers Won't Go Out for a Drink with Him

The excuse of "We have to work late on your case" is getting old.

written by Al N., 13 March 2017

Exclusive Washington DC Club Reveals Two Prime Candidates for Its Highest Honor

Nation's Capital Gluteus Maximizers Club recently announced two of their most famous members--Senator Al Franken & President H W Bush--are in keen competition for the 2018 Grabasser of the Year award.

written by Trinculoman, 24 November 2017

Secret Service Catch Man Who Scaled White House Fence

Since he was covered in dirt, it took them a minute to realize the intruder was Rudy Giuliani.

written by Al N., 13 March 2017

Beyonce Wins Time Magazine's Person of the Year in Clear Dis to Trump

A spokesman said "We are so sick of Trump we also considered Sean Spicer, Joe Weiner & Carrot-Top."

written by Al N., 25 November 2017

LED's punch these lights out!

LED streetlamps cause insomnia! Yes, especially if humans forget to close their curtains, pull the blinds down, or sleep outdoors! Mind you sex under LED lamps aint bad!

written by Jaggedone, 13 March 2017

Beyonce Wins Time Magazine's Person of the Year in Clear Dis to Trump

A spokesman said "We are so sick of Trump we also considered Sean Spicer, Joe Weiner & Carrot-Top."

written by Al N., 25 November 2017

Kellyanne Conway Applys To Be Spoof Writer

When asked about her qualifications she said, "I don't need any evidence, I have alternative facts..."

written by XRhonda Speaks, 13 March 2017

Royal Corgis Don't Like Meghan Markle-Wedding Called Off

"I'm sorry I can't go against the Queen and Corgis but she can evict me so there you go" said Harry.

written by Al N., 28 November 2017

Trump to Hold Pep Rally in Nashville

We're not sure what to call it, so pep rally seemed good to me, said former cheerleader Kellyanne C.

written by Al N., 14 March 2017

Trump Insults Morning Joe, Shames Matt Lauer, and Makes Fun of Asian Leaders All in One Hour

A President's work is never done.

written by Al N., 01 December 2017

He-Man Woman Haters Club Inducts New Members Matt Lauer and Kevin Spacey

The club also started a rural division, which Garrison Keillor will be in charge of.

written by Al N., 01 December 2017

Matt Lauer Wins Yet Another Award

Fired NBC anchor Lauer has been recognized by the Natl Press Predators' Alliance as the 2017's Most Egregious Sexual Scumbag Hypocrite. Surprisingly. Charlie Rose was second-ran in the voting.

written by Trinculoman, 02 December 2017

Revealed: The Occupation That Loves Trump the Most

A recent poll showed that comedians and comedy writers love Trump because, "He makes our jobs easy!"

written by Al N., 03 December 2017

Colin Kaepernick Time's Man Of The Year

Bravo Time magazine for making Colin Kaepernick Man Of The Year. Almost. While Trump has reduced the U.S. to tatters, Kaepernick exemplifies and remains a beacon of hope for the United States.

written by K.C. Bell, 04 December 2017

Senator Al Franken Claims Special Privilege for Abusing Women

Outed serial abuser Al "Raging Tongue" Franken states it was his right and special privilege to attack women due to his status as a former lame-ass, humor-challenged, narcissistic comedian.

written by Trinculoman, 06 December 2017

Trump Booby-Traps Tax Returns

Because of media leaks of his tax returns, Trump said that he has set huge traps on all his returns.

written by Al N., 15 March 2017

Congressman Conyers Names Son to Succeed Him in U.S. House and Confers New Title

Retiring Mich. Rep Conyers proclaims his son as rightful inheritor of his Detroit fiefdom. Jealous of his seniority in the House as King o'Droopy Underpants, he quickly dubs Junior as Knave of Boxers.

written by Trinculoman, 06 December 2017

After Changing Israel Capital to Jerusalem, Trump Changes North Korea's Capital to Seoul

He is also moving the US Embassy for France to London, England, since "it's right next door almost."

written by Al N., 06 December 2017

After Slashing Size of Utah Monuments,Trump Will Next Sub-Divide the Grand Canyon

The portion of the Grand Canyon freed from historical status will be filled in and a casino built.

written by Al N., 06 December 2017

Republicans Decide Al Franken Must Be Executed to Set an Example

Trump tweets his support and reminds voters that Roy Moore never admitted HE did anything wrong.

written by Al N., 09 December 2017

Moore Wins Alabama Senate Seat; 30,000 Jones votes Invalidated

Tuscaloosa. The Alabama Republican Sec. of State today ruled 30,000 votes for Doug Jones in Montgomery and Birminghan were cast fraudulently by Russian hackers and therefore invalid.

written by Ralph E. Shaffer, 14 December 2017

Due to a shortage of performers for the inauguration

Bill Clinton will be playing a saxophone solo.

written by pinkwalrus, 08 January 2017

GOP pledges consistency

They vow to hold themselves to the same standards they have held the Democrats to: careful vetting of cabinet picks, open investigations of scandals, etc.

The public can just leave it all to them.

written by pinkwalrus, 08 January 2017

Trump Signs Executive Order to Ban Spiders & Insects

"I've never liked them and it seemed like the right thing to do" said Trump.

written by Al N., 17 March 2017

Trump downsizes White House

Citing concerns for his carbon footprint, Trump plans to move the first family into a smaller building using only solar power.

written by pinkwalrus, 08 January 2017

Pink Floyd Won't Let Trump Use Their Song 'The Wall' for His Wall

In true Trump fashion, he just went ahead and used it, claiming they don't own the rights any more.

written by Al N., 21 March 2017

Market Flooded After Woody Harrelson Quits Smoking Pot

The sudden surge in supply has put growers in a bind as demand is cut in half and prices plunge.

written by XRhonda Speaks, 21 March 2017

FBI Agent Taken off Trump Probe Due to "Extreme Bias"

The agent had the nerve to say he thought Eric Trump looked a little "funny."

written by Al N., 20 December 2017

Trump Adds to His Threat Regarding How Republicans Who Vote Against Repealing Obamacare Will Lose Their Seats

He has now added that everyone who votes against him will be taken off his Trump Steak Xmas List.

written by Al N., 22 March 2017

One of Hitler's Parade Limos Becomes Available--Trump Jumps On It

"Oh, no reason" Trump replied when asked why he purchased the infamous 1939 Mercedes.

written by Al N., 21 December 2017

Trump Claims He is Helping Elderly People by Cutting Meals on Wheels

"Ivanka read to me that America is too obese. So I am helping to make old people eat less" he said.

written by Al N., 22 March 2017

Eric and Donnie Trump, Jr. Caught in Plot to Kidnap Santa Claus and Corner the Market on Toys

They both claim a Russian guy said it would be good for the country and planned the whole thing out.

written by Al N., 21 December 2017

Pelosi Regains a Key Role in Progresso-Dystopia

Minority Leader Pelosi,but Maestro of Senility,regains her slot as the Wicked Witch of ObamaCare in the realm of Progresso-Dystopia. She is attended by Chuck-o Schumer as the Court Fool of Hypocrisy.

written by Trinculoman, 24 March 2017

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