N. Koreans, S.Koreans May Exchange Gifts
New North Korean President says that his country will begin to exchange gifts with S. Korea soon. "We insist on going first, just as soon as we can keep gift from landing in Ocean again."
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
Mormons apologize for posthumous Jewish baptism!
"This is the second time we have issued an official apology", says Bigham Smith. "We didn't know he was Jewish." Apology comes after Jewish gang circumcised three Morman men going door to door.
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
Electronic Cigarette Problems
La. man has to stick his head into commode after electronic cigarette sets his mustache on fire. "Knew he was gay", stated Colonel at party. "Just a matter of time before they flame up like that."
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
Honest Cruise Line Begines
The "Honest" Cruise Ship lines began this past week advertising "We are cheaper, usually safe unless accidents happen, plenty of kaopectate aboard, barbed wire around deck, welcome aboard."
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
PRUDEN: Obamacare called 'The fiasco for the ages'
"Socialism and Communism haven't worked in over 100 years and yet they keep trying. Why are we so stupid? Look at the record."
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
Obama tells bros: I've got your back
"It's not our backs that we're concerned", says Muslim Brotherhood. "They kicked our ass."
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
'Lone Ranger' Summer's Third Big Bomb.
"My work here is finally over", says Butch Cavendish.
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
Former Biebs monkey to get reality show
Mally, the capuchin monkey confiscated in Munich, will star in her own reality show called Hangin in Hodenhagen. Zoo officials signed off on the deal because they were promised to be shown on TV.
written by Lyndon, 06 July 2013
Tip From Joe Biden
No matter how much you trust your wife never ask her to put HEAT on aching back. She got turpentine by mistake (she says). Now my neighbors are about to run naked pics of me on Facebook running wild.
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
New Drone Built
The United States has admitted that we now have a drone plane that will not only follow it's victim but will actually knock on their door.
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
Secret Revealed
Jimmy Carter recalls: Billy always hated the Russians. I remember he would chart whenever a Russian satellite would come over Plains, Billy would run out back and moon it. He called it his moon shot!
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
True Facts From Snoops #4653
Some midgets in the Middle Ages were over seven feet tall! Still, their legs were one & half foot tall. Necks like giraffes. Saying at the time: Never play poker with seven foot, long-necked midget.
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
Mennonite Man Shunned
"I guess I'll have to leave the community", he tells friends. "I secretly became a Quaker several years ago."
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
Middle East Executioner Reports
In private interview, an executioner for an unnamed Middle Eastern country says that his job doesn't bother him. "It's like they say, get a job you love and you will never work a day in your life."
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
Limbaugh Survives Largest Attack
Bucket of shat placed over door of noted Talk Show Host, Rush Limbaugh fails to phase him. "I've learned to shake off the shat a long time ago", laughs Limbaugh. "Nothing sticks to me."
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
Does Obama have authority to undo Obamacare?
Obama says he will rule over his decision on his previous decision as soon as he decides what decision to make. Is this man a great politician or what?
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
Only 47% of adults have full-time job...
Other 69% say their main problem is lack of math skills.
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
...it add to be darlink
New singles on MatureDatingUK...Attractive 40+ women..they're ready and waiting....and have been since 1944!!
written by Herrdoktorfox, 06 July 2013
..........Pow-wow-wow!
Prince Haribo qualifies as Apache commander....Tonto delighted by all accounts!
written by Herrdoktorfox, 06 July 2013
10 rules of cookout etiquette
Rule Number One: Never goose a person who is carrying a tray of beer. You will be shunned.
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
Anti-NSA protests on July 4
"We have it all recorded. You will be hearing from us soon", say NSA Spokesman.
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
Check out modern Gettysburg
Gift shops galore. You can by a small cannon with cannon ball. Small Union/Confederate soldiers available with flags of all sizes. All "Made In China".
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
Driver plummets 20 ft. into stinkhole
Sorry, that should have read "Sinkhole". Of course, he could have landed in sewer.
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
'Big Bang' actress dates 'Superman'
No comment. Well, beep beep beep beep beep! See! What if they were secretly married, can you beep beep beep? I guess not.
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
The Mystery of the Intergalactic Radio Bursts
"So far the only words we think we hear are "Pow! Zoom! Alice" say scientists.
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
Howard dumps Lakers for Rockets
"I want to be on a team with a winning tradition", says NBA star.
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
Bartoli rolls to Wimbledon victory
Reporter: Bartolis' ability to roll at top speed during match throws off his opponent.
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
Koreas discuss reopening factory
Factory staffed by both North Korea and South Korea will reopen according to word from a S.K. spokesman. "We will begin making weapons once again after factory updates."
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
Opinion: U.S. clueless on Egypt
So what makes Egypt any different than any place or anything else?
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
What the White House Says About the Westboro Baptist Church
We will not classify them as a Hate Group. Don't want them here night and day!
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
Istanbul's governor warns against new protest
"You like to protest? Go to Egypt. They protest either side in power."
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
Pope Francis Shakes Up Church Establishment
Pope Francis: "We have rechecked it several times. The word is 'celebrate' not celibate'."
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
Anyone seen Snowden? Moscow transit fliers hope for a glimpse
"I haven't seen him but have smelled him behind closed door. He need clothes change", says airport worker.
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
Only 47% of adults have full-time job...
Could it be that only full time workers will be furnished insurance? Just a guess.
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
In Egypt, Anti-Americanism flares.
Huge fireworks show pattern of President Obama's head in basket. "Joe Biden says "This could be serious."
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
Charles shows who's boss
In a fit of pique, HRH Charles, Prince of Wales, has burnt down the entire London suburb of Tottenham after they beat his favourite football team Chelsea in a friendly at Bolton. Truly amazing effort!
written by whatinthe world, 06 July 2013
'Despicable Me' tramples 'Lone Ranger' at theaters
"No wonder he's the 'lone' Ranger", says film critic. Look at that thing beside him."
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
America's Most Faces-Polluted Bitches, legs Mapped
I'm sorry, that should be most feces polluted beaches mapped. My apologizes to Cher, others.
written by Bureau, 06 July 2013
