We May Be Scanning Wrong Organ
Brain scans suggest sex addiction may not be the real disorder!
"I feel sorry for the Weinie"
"It's Weiner not Weinie!', he's told. So Dixie Normus walks away. "I could have helped him", he tells friend.
Martin Family Starts National Hoodie Museum in D.C.
Sybrina Fulton, Trayvon Martin's mom, just launched The National Hoodie Museum and only generated 2 Caucasian hoodies of 177 from U.S. police departments. She expressed outrage about a "conspiracy."
written by shel, 24 July 2013
"I'm tired of Weiner Gags!"
Las Vegas Hooker: "Tell me about it!"
Kids Hate Weiner Name
"You're waiting for a table and suddenly this guy yells, "We have a table open for the Weiners! Would the Weiner family please come forward?" Everybody laughs, "That's the biggest weiner I ever saw!"
Britain's new prince is third in line to the throne.
Many in crowd in front of public bathrooms say they wish THEY were third in line for the throne.
Woody Wood Pecker Urges Weiner to Give Up
There will be four full years of Weiner jokes, states Wood Pecker. "How often have I been called "Dildo Baggins"?
Weiner Still Hanging In There
Despite new sexting scandal Weiner still holding head up, while newly released poll figures give him a moral character rating of 17 percent.
Fattest Lady In Briton
British Fattest lady now up to 41 stone. Her daughter makes her dad sleep alone. "We lost dad a couple of times & had to pull him out as Ma turned over. If they get romantic, we tie a rope around him.
5-time world boxing champ falls to the mat!
World boxing champ Emile Griffith dies at 75. "You're still the best", yell loyal fans.
Democrats say they prefer vaults to graves
"You can register whole families and more than one generation to vote", lady explains,
Pope asks Saints to change name
"The New Orleans Saints is an oxymoron", the pope explains!
Erection Update: Pressure mounts on Weiner to pull out.
"When he's has that big Weiner head made up, he'll push ahead and never lose his concentration", says wife, Phyllis Weiner.
Dirty Weiner Pens Apology for Pervy Obsession.
"What you see is what you get and with me, you'll see a Weiner from time to time.
....wots that pong?
Royal baby on the move after Queens visit....not surprising Liz is enough to give anyone the squits!!
written by Herrdoktorfox, 24 July 2013
Husband Gives Wife Poor Excuse
Robbie Cristofori tells wife that it was his cars GPS system that led him astray!
Clinton leads potential opponents in new poll
President Obama: Let's just hope there's not a national crisis that I have to suffer through a third term!
Kate and William name their son George Alexander Louis
But will not stand for him being called GAL!
REPORT: Putin to visit Tehran for nuclear talks!
Conversations! Celebrations! Investigations! Installations!
Border Patrol Deporting Illegal Alien -- After 37 Criminal Convictions.
Part of the new "After Thirty-Six-We-Come-Down-On-You-Like-A-Ton-of-Bricks" Policy!
Secret Camera Records Seance, Voice: "It's The Fuzz!"
Medium cleared of any wrong doing when hidden camera shows chairs running out of the room screaming when secret agent customer suddenly accuses her of being a fake and places on handcuffs.
New Husband Finds Out About Bride Too Late
New husband faints when he discovers he has just married a secret male undercover CIA agent! "I just thought she never shaved her legs", he tells reporters later.
Martin Family to Start National Hoodie Museum in D.C.
Sybrina Fulton, Trayvon Martin's mom, will "properly address" the felony criminal's hoodie. So far, donations of 109 worn during felonies were obtained from U.S. police agencies. Caucasians wore 2.
written by shel, 24 July 2013
Race Riot In Atlanta!!
"Everybody just calm down", says Mayor. "Or next year we won't even HAVE a NASCAR Event!" Race apparently turned into 34 car crash after lady driver removed top!
Medium A Fake?
An undercover policeman slaps cuffs on Male Medium after catching him taking two Viagra tablets an hour before table "Rose on its Own".
A First for the 101st!
The 101st Screaming Eagles of Ft Campbell, Ky welcomes their first drone cadets. "First jumper goes 6 feet into ground but otherwise, he was fine", says drilled sergeant. "We'll work that weight off!"
Police Warm Public!
There's now a source that can take your photo and show it in millions of homes all over the earth. Insiders call the thing, "Facebook!"
Another Oprah Special
Among the stories covered tonight on Oprah Special is a heart-warming story where adopted highway section is reunited with it's biological Rest Of The Trashy Road!
Local Bull Passes Out!
Apparently the bull had looked into the window of farmer John Lindsey and saw his own nuggets being fried on The Food Channel.
J K Rowling Admits Authorship
J K Rowling has openly admitted that she was the actual writer of kid's classic, "Everybody Poops!"
What will royal baby's name be?
The only ones ruled out are from politicians "Balls" and "Weiner", but that's two down and a quadrillion to go.
News says skipping breakfast causes heart attack
Of course, skipping while you're eating breakfast can do something bad to you. Most die from choking on boiled egg!
New group raises money to bankroll gun buyback programs
"We trade them bullets for their other guns. That way there are less guns out there", says spokesman for group "Bullets For guns!"
FEMA to Sue New Orleans
All of a sudden the shoe is on the other foot as FEMA has sued the city of New Orleans for building city in a big hole in the ground. "Anyone stupid enough to build below sea level should pay for it!"
Russia says U.S. drive to arm Syria rebels hurts chances for peace
"They will be facing all those weapons that we have sent the other side."
Snowden to leave Russia soon?
According to the latest CIA, NSA leaks.
Opponent Will Not Face Weiner!
Weiner's opponent says he will not debate Weiner. "Some things are privates...private and besides, how can a person debate someone addressed as Mr. Weiner with a straight Weiner..face?"
A-Rod Looking At Possible Lifetime Ban
Insists that he did not take illegal drugs. A-Rod defended by Weiner!
"Can't Vote For This Weiner", says one voter
"You can't thrust...trust this Weiner. He's all over the place!
Mayor's Race Already Over?
And it's already clear who will be the Weiner!
Weiner Addresses Crowd
"I can't help it if my name is Weiner! I admit that the Fuzz have some more pics I sent out but I'm standing up for my rights."
More Weiner Pics Coming Up!
Weiner's opponent says that Weiner is up to his old tricks again.
Weiner: The Latest
Every Late Night Show Host and standup comedian urging Weiner to stay in the pants...race for Mayor.
Weiner Opponent For mayor
"No I did NOT say he had a bigger wiener. I said he was just a big weiner. I was talking about him sending all those dirty photos out.
Man wears device into strip club
Device was apparently discovered when he was ordered to strip. "This is a strip club, Mister! Better drop them!"
Weiner Refused Entrance!
"He'll not be traveling into OUR state in that Weinermobile", says Governor of Kansas. "Not until he changes it to look like a hot dog."
King Has "Gotten The Ass" Over Illegal Immigration
Rep. Steve King, a longtime immigration critic, caused a furor Tuesday when a video emerged of him saying young illegal immigrants are "drugged mules". "I hear they drug their mules before crossing."
Mrs. Weiner Stands Tall #2
"If Weiner should pull out right now, I would be very much disappointed!"
Mrs. Weiner Stands Tall
"I will not let down my Weiner!", says Mrs Weiner. "And no, those Mrs Weiner Restaurants are not mine. I thought they were called Mrs. Winners."
Weiner Stays In #3
Candidate Weiner has decided to stay in the political race but says he may change his name to "Pecker".
Weiner Stays In! #2
"Now is not the time to pull out!", he tells the press.
Weiner Stays In!
Weiner's 'explicit' new sex messages, bathroom pics will not keep him from "keeping the old pecker up". Stays in race.
Weiner At It Again!
Political candidate has been accused by the press of sending more dirty pics over internet. Weiner on Press reports: "They just like playing with me."
House GOP, Democrats clash over immigration
Also voting rights, wars in middle east, talks between PLO & Israel, color of curtains on House windows, type of carpet on floor, who shot JR, was/wasn't extra shooter on the grassy knoll.