Stonewall Werfel Testifies
Congress accuses IRS Director Werfel of hindering its probe into unfairly targeting Tea Party groups and other conservative groups.
"We're innocent and that's all I'm saying," Werfel stated.
written by S.A. Merk, 30 July 2013
Park Rangers Have The Runs
Near-By Boy Scout Group being questioned after Park Rangers have the bellyaches and then the tourists complain as Tampered-With-Brownies causing a mess at Mount Flushmore.
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Another Al Gore G.W. Warning
"It will soon be so hot that Death From Chaffing will be the number one cause of death!"
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Discovery: Monica Lewinsky was paid by Insurance Company
She was apparently head of the stress management team.
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Spelunkers In Mammoth Cave Discover Huge Gold Mine
"Let's not tell the Republicans", warns expedition leader.
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
ABC News Having Problems
Diane Sawyer giggles like a 14-year-old every time someone reports on Weiner!
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
PETA at it again
Now they're protesting that we are stereotyping dogs by calling them mutts, leg-humpers, bitches.
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Ringo Upset!
Ghosts of John and George visit during the night to point and laugh!
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Tornado Chasers
Tornado Chaser's radio goes dead. Last seen circling the mall or what used to be the mall.
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Overheard During Egyptian Protests
"Now let's go over this one more time. We are against the one in power now and also the one three leaders ago! Abdul, will you hush about Nasser?"
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Detroit home priced at $1 sits on the market for 519 days
"The thing is full of haints", say local. "You can hear things over there at night. I's feared to death just to walks by."
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Another Change in Volcabulary
From now on the Chicago White Sox and the Boston Red Sox will be known as "Sox of Color #1 and #2". "Atlanta Tribe Folks" next?
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Pass The Caviar Please
Hillary Clinton, Obama lunch at the White House. Tell people not allowed to tour White House that economy is just too bad. "You got the 'too bad' part right", Mrs Wiener..Clinton!" yell heard.
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Several suspected Nazi war criminals stuck in U.S. limbo
"But we know where they are going to after limbo", smiles Nazi hunter!
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Taliban frees 25 "dangerous terrorists" from Pakistan jail
Kill all the Taliban that freed them first. Animals seek cover under, behind objects. "They're a mean bunch", says Joe Biden.
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Kerry sets 9-month goal for Mideast peace talks
"And we will strictly begin countdown...oh...whenever!"
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Appeals court strikes down NYC ban on large sodas
Pulls out a Big Gulp and toasts the large crowd in back and outside!
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Bradley Manning acquitted of aiding the enemy
Also, Eli and Peyton Manning acquitted of not playing their best ball games last season!
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Keanu Reeves Kidnapped
Son of the late Dennis Hopper has kidnapped his fathers Speed co-star Keanu Reeves in order to "finish dads work". Reeves must now maintain a speed of 7mph or his rectal explosives will be detonated.
written by Sam Sage, 30 July 2013
USDA has paid millions to dead farmers - audit
Considering digging them up and taking away rings, gold teeth and other valuables.
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
US To Declassify Documents
United States to declassify documents on spy programs, surveillance court and flying pigs.
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
4-year-old with IQ of 145 becomes Mensa's newest member
Only words we in the crowd could make out were "life forms" "string theory" and "Thank you" and that came to us from news helicopter. Except for the "Thank you" the rest went right over our heads.
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
This Year's Snaggletooth People Meeting News
It was announced this morning that this year's Snaggletooth Peoples Conference will be just outside Mount Brushmore. This comes from our secretary, Flossie.
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Queen Elizabeth explains herself
After angering two-thirds of her countrymen for endorsing gay marriage legislation, Her Majesty has explained her motivation: "I'm afraid a few royals may want to marry someone of their own sex."
written by Gee Pee, 30 July 2013
San Diego mayor agrees to therapy for "sex addiction"
San Diego mayor Bob Filner (D, naturally), agreed to undergo therapy for his alleged "sex addiction," provided that the city pay for it. "It's important that the world hears my story," he said.
written by Gee Pee, 30 July 2013
Justin Bieber's bus arrested
Teen idol Justin Bieber's magical mystery tour bus was arrested for posession of marijuana and drug paraphenalia, but he was not aboard. "I'd had enough the night before," he said.
written by Gee Pee, 30 July 2013
Amish Vote Completed
Yes, says Brother Sparadime, you CAN use a squirrel running in a wheel to light one bulb for whoopee.
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Florida Lady Has 16th Baby
She has had so many c-sections that the doctors had a zipper installed.
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Real Madrid step up the chase for Gareth Bale
A spokesman for the La Liga Club today confirmed that Real Madrid will formally change their name to Rhyl Madrid in an attempt to make the Welsh footballer feel at home in Spain.
written by radiogagger, 30 July 2013
Flash floods in West Yorkshire
No need to show off. Floods would have been enough.
written by radiogagger, 30 July 2013
North Korea living in the past
"They're shooting rockets into the ocean, having huge parades and living in caves", says visitor.
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Pope on gays: 'Who am I to judge?'
Bishop: "I wish he would get off the gays. It's not helping our reputation any!"
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Deposed Egyptian leader gets visitor
"It was midnight and 'Pharoah The Boat Ashore' came by about the mummies." quotes visitor. "I think they have been giving him LSD."
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Baton Rouge sheriff accused of targeting gay men for arrest
Making them squeal like pigs say other prisoners from other cells.
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Latest NFL News From Training Camps:
11% are now injured, 5% in jail or prison. Should be an interesting season.
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Weiner's wife meets with Hillary Clinton
The wife of the other Wiener!
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
10 suspected Nazi war criminals ordered out of U.S. never left.
"Silly Americans helped bury body of Moe Howard", says dying 124 year old Hitler.
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Kerry Can't Find Obama to Report Lack of Progress
Aids say he is off to Chattanooga for previous engagement on golf course.
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Kerry Conference Off To Bad Start
Palestinian Leader's 'Final Resolution': Not 'a Single Israeli on Our Lands'.
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Weiner Shrinking In The Poles!
Down to 5% the farther north you go. Could be climate.
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Bill Clinton Confesses
Earlier in my life, I think I would had liked being named "Weiner" or maybe "The Weiner"!
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Bill and Hillary Clinton are 'livid' at comparisons to Weiner's sexcapades and Huma's forgiveness
Make us look like we're 70 years old! Note: (Actually, they are getting very close to 70).
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
POLL: Younger Women Love Weiner
"You get older, you begin looking more to the kids and grandkids, food, etc", says 55-year-old teacher.
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Latest Fad In Dieting
A new procedure has helped several study subjects lose weight. The process involves shrinking the mouth. "It's time we got right to the source", states surgeon.
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
How Many Code Names Does One Guy Need?
The Anthony Weiner Scandal keeps getting more and more confusing. Now it seems that Wiener's code name Carlos Danger also has a code name, Pablo Penis.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 July 2013
Joan Rivers Needs A Road Map To Find Some of Her Body Parts
Joan Rivers who recently turned 80, says that after so much plastic surgery her cleavage has now ended up with a belly button on it.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 July 2013
Say Bro Don't Worry, It's Just A Cat
A group of MIT scientists have discovered a way to make dogs meow. They say it will come in handy in K-9 undercover work.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 July 2013
Gary "The Space Cadet" Busey Is At It Again
Gary Busey has asked Donald Trump to lend him $1.3 million. He says he wants to build a space ship and explore Jupiter.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 July 2013
Stacy Keibler Knew How To Work George Clooney
Stacy Keibler was asked now that she and George Clooney have ended their relationship what does she miss the most about him. She winked and said, "Wrestling with him and always letting him win."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 July 2013
Kat Von D Has More Tattoos Than Alaska Has Eskimos
Kat Von D says that when she runs out of tattoo space, (which will be sometime in November) she will start getting ink art done on her esophagus.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 July 2013
The Return of Clint Eastwood
Clint Eastwood, who is 83, has just been offered a starring role in a remake of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. Movie bosses are changing the name to The Good, The Bad, and The Old As The Dickens.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 July 2013
The Number of Weiners Is Unbelievable
The Guinness Book of World Records has just stated that the Weiner jokes have just surpassed the combined number of Polish, Ethiopian, George Bush, Sarah Palin, and blonde jokes.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 July 2013
Even Barefoot, Nicole Kidman Still Towers Over Hubby Keith Urban
The statuesque Nicole Kidman says that she loves her husband Keith Urban so much that she would be willing to go in for height reduction surgery if he asked her to.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 July 2013
Ke$ha May Have To Drop The $ Sign
Rock singer Ke$ha has said that if she doesn't start getting some gigs she may have to change her name to Ke¢ha.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 July 2013
Mrs Kerry Improving But Fears For Husband
If John gets a breakthrough in Middle-East Talks he might get the Big Head and his will explode.
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Six Month Study Confirms Fears
Over 90% of Christmas gifts last December had traces of reindeer poop!
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Today's History Students Are Just Plain Dumb
Never even heard of the 'Peepot Dong Scandal' or 'One is by Land, Two is Black Sheep'! claims 24-year-old teacher.
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
New Show On Food Channel Replacing Deens
New show coming to The Food Show, "Soul Food For The Honky".
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
Archaeologist Stumped!
Archaeologist loses both legs after opening of King Don crypt in Egypt!
written by Bureau, 30 July 2013
