Parents Extra Careful Of Precious 3-Yr-Old!
Big-hated, heavily sun-screened, fully clothed, sunglassed toddler on the beach eats part of dead fish left by birds.
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
Miss America Headed For Middle East
"If there's anyone that can settle all those countries down, it's Miss America", says Joe Biden. "She and those before her have been at this for years. I'm nominating her for Noble Peace Prize."
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
Pope Francis Bumps Head on Helicopter
Leaving crowds ob beach he tells pilot that Hitler should quit invading Poland.
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
Weiner Now Says He's Pumped Up For Action
Weiner's Christine Quinn opponent says Weiner should just pack it up and leave quietly.
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
Study Finds Only 28 Percent of Millionaires Think They're Rich
While millions of new immigrants say the whole country is rich compared to from where they came!
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
"Home Folks Think I'm Big In Detroit City" Song falls to #3 million
Still slightly ahead of "They're Coming To Take Me Away" and "Tie Me Kangaroo Down".
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
SAfrica: Initiation deaths a problem, doctor says
After 45 males die from circumcision, 192 others wishing they were dead.
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
Wanted For Dating!
25-year-old super intelligent male doctor with extremely high IQ level of 190 wants to meet lady with 150-plus IQ with big hooters.
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
Scientists create human liver from stem cells
"But we'll need to develope a ten-inch penis to get a lot of funding!"
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
Wolverine' claws past ghosts to claim weekend box office crown
"This bodes well for our next movie, "Badger"," says movie company spokesman.
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
Big Protester Exchange Completed
Tunisia has sent over 20,000 protesters to Bahrain for 30,000 protesters there. Egypt and Syria considering event, watching closely!
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
Police: $53 million in jewels stolen from Cannes hotel.
Inspector Clouseau immediately called in to investigate once he finishes with Cato.
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
Bravo TV announces new reality show starring Anthony Weiner
"Live from Anthony Weiner's Guest Bathroom" will air Thursdays after the NYC mayoral election on Bravo TV, depending on how damn nosy his wife is being. Parental and personal discretion advised.
written by Moe Nightwalker, 28 July 2013
Joe Biden Lets another one slip!
"We've been in a hacker's war for five years with the Chinese."
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
Bahrain raises alarm over rising violence
Look Out! They're Over There! Go Ahead Punk! Look Like It's You or Me, Pilgrim!
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
Unsealed birth records give adoptees peek at past
Several have been hacked. "My mother was Paula Deen?" say over 1,000 records.
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
Weiner: I Guess I'm Just Hard-Headed!
Political opponents says Weiner has 'Powerful and Invasive' Search Tool to use!
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
Weiner Says He Will Stick It Out!
Even though his manager and others have left, tail between their legs.
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
Weiner Gets A Heads-Up From Advisor
Latest on Anthony Weiner is that his political advisor has resigned.
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
Hacker Barnaby Jack unexpectedly dies ahead of hacking conference
Friends say that he has been coughing for a couple of weeks!
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
Co-founder of Russia's biggest search engine dies
After huge old-fashioned, out-dated lonely search engine tracks him down and falls on him.
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
Pilgrims spend night on Rio beach for pope's last message
In order not to offend Islam's Ramadan he asks that topless women wear veils.
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
Weinrer May Change Name to Johnson
"That won't help him with the Press", say members of his staff.
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
Austrian flap over bell dedicated to Hitler
Should be strung up and hanged after removing its clapper!
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
Another 'Vampire Cemetery' Found in Poland
Authorities say this one in Poland seems to that of "Vlad The Imposter".
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
California cop who pepper-sprayed students out of line
Police Captain Ainsleigh says police sprayer was marking his territory in the wrong place.
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
California cop who pepper-sprayed students claims psychiatric damage
Apparently thought he was a skunk for over half an hour.
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
Calls Grow For Mayor of San Diego to Step Down.
Several calls: To Step outside!
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
NBC Orders Hillary Clinton Miniseries Starring Diane Lane...
Kirstie Alley to play Monica Lewinsky.
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
Weiner Manager Quits: I Hated To Let Him Down
Anthony Weiner has lost his managr as he says thee are too many scandals, Weiner manager jokes!
written by Bureau, 28 July 2013
