8 Simple Joint Ingredients You Won't Believe #2
Horse Manure will give you that joint an extra kick that will have you talking and walking like Cheech & Chong, Man!
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
NCAA to stop putting name, logo on video game!
What a shocker that is! Meanwhile, in Palm Springs today, it was so hot that the late Bob Hope's house melted and slid off the hillside.
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Roving bands of teens rob, assault in Hollywood.
In Hollywood! One of the most peaceful places on the face of the earth.
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Panama calls in U.N. to inspect North Korean arms ship
Kim Jong Un throws fit. Lies on the floor and kicks himself around and around like Curly of the Three Stooges. Holds his breath until he turns blue.
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
New Ford Hybrid Hits the Market
Also, mixed views thus far for new Hybrid Hummers that get up to nine MPG.
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
President Obama Calls for restraint
Tells crowds to cool off a bit. "Settle down and be like me, take a five week vacation. Things will be better by then."
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Day Three After Zimmerman Trial
Except for Al Sharpton rioting has lessened quite a bit. Also, movie ushers, ladies with sleeping babies and librarians urge quieter demonstrations.
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Separated At Birth, Or
Has anyone ever seen Bill Maher and Julian Assange together in the same room?
written by K.C. Bell, 17 July 2013
Mysterious White Powder found in VP's office
Turns out that it was only cocaine!
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Snoops True Fact #339
According to Snoops: It is not true that a turtle will bite you and hang on till it thunders. A really loud fart will cause them to not only let go but skeedaddle away!
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
"Down With The Guy Who's In Charge!"
Egyptian protesters receive latest scorecard on who's in, who's out of power.
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Captain dives in after 12-foot fish
"Just working my way up to something bigger", says Ahab.
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
GOPer on verdict: 'Get over it'
"Just like we did with O.J. Simpson verdict. Oh yeah, he's still in prison. But he's still guilty of murder if you ask me! Just the thought burns me up!"
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Man wakes up, speaks only Swedish
Translator brought to hospital to help says the man is saying "I cannot understand a single word I'm speaking!"
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Professional liars for hire
Most of them former politicians, attorneys, used car salesmen.
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
A rare look inside the royal family
BBC purchases videos from hospitals where colonoscopies were performed!
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
'King of the Hill' actor dies at 67
Services will be held on The Simpsons this Sunday night!
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Cuba: It's our weapons on N.K. ship
Panama: No, these are OUR weapons we took from North Korean ship! We just moved from Military Country #97 to #31
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Rolling Stone Cover Pic Blasted
Rolling Stone putting bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev on cover is called a "great insult" to marathon victims. "You want to be famous, go kill a bunch of innocent people", says one injured at event.
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Man wrestles 200-pound shark to shore
Putin: I have wrestled several whales to shore but will have to go do it again and have someone to take a photograph. I tend to shy away from cameras.
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
D.C. Government Fails to Pay 'Living Wage' Required of WalMart
Walmart to sue U.S. Government?
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
PAYPAL accidentally credits man $92 quadrillion.
President tells him to hurry up and write check to China for ten trillion!
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Survey: 74% of small businesses will fire workers, cut hours.
After careful thought, more and more businesses are liking new ObamaCare!
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Researchers power cell phone with urine.
"Completely by accident", says young inventor. "Boss told me to piss on it!"
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Jimmy Carter declares: 'Right decision'.
"No it wasn't" declares small voice from device below dining room table.
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Russia's Putin Makes Request of President Obama
"Mister Obama, Tear Down This Bugged Wall!"
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Stasi Lessons: Germans have cause to abhor surveillance state
Been there, Done that! Doesn't work!
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
President vows to veto GOP legislation -- that he proposed!
"Did I Do That?" (in his best Urkel voice).
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Bernanke: The pumping must go on!
Tells China, "We will gladly pay you in 2050 for a few more trillion today!"
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Water cut for 150,000 near DC!
Thus far, congress and senate say the beer is holding out!
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Maya Angelou: 'What is really injured is psyche of our national population'.
And the whereabouts of our collective whatever!
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Hilary tells "sisterhood" about her heartbreak over Jury Decision
Nothing after O.J. trial. Nothing about "sisterhood" being beaten daily by Taliban, 10-year-old girls sold for wives in Afghanistan, Iraq.
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Best New Product on Market?
Dr. Scholl's new adult diapers for comfort and smell. You can now go see great aunt Lulu once again.
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Americans Once Again Lose Freedoms!
The Method: A "data center" in Bluffdale, Utah, designed to record and store every facet of our lives. The Madness: Oh, it should be here any day now.
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
So how is legal marijuana going in Colorado?
"Heavy! Smooth as silk! Man, you gotta try this stuff!" among answers given by State of Colorado police officers.
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Putin dives to the bottom of the Baltic to view wreck
Russian leader refused the use of any equipment. Dove straight down in the nude according to Russian press
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Liz Cheney to Challenge Senator Michael Enzi of Wyoming
"All she will need here in Wyoming is 20-25 votes says her famous dad, uh..one of those VPs.
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
8 Simple Joint Ingredients You Won't Believe
Number One: Beer! See...told you you wouldn't believe it. But you go into any popular joint and there you'll find the popular beverage!
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Snowden revelations: What more does he have?
For one thing, he is rumored to have actual films taken by the New England Patriots of opposing teams!
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Egypt prosecutor investigates Mursi for prison escape
Also that one time he called Abdel Nasser "Nose, Nose!" when he was four!
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
Zimmerman Family Suspects Obama Tapping Their Phones.
Well, why should they be any different than the rest of us?
written by Bureau, 17 July 2013
