Justin Bieber's biggest slip-ups
Busted his ass twelve times the first time he tried Bunny Slope!
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Thousands evacuate as powerful spittoon hits China
I'm sorry, that should be "Thousands evacuate as powerful spittoon hits Phillippines!"
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Zimmerman Found Not Guilty
Family of Trayvon Martin hires Fred Goldman to keep badgering Zimmerman!
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Protesters Rally After 'Not Guilty' Verdict
"Wow!", says Vice President Biden. "Protests were the last thing on my mind. Football almost here!"
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
China naval fleet seen off northern Japan.
"Bringing Naval oranges! Joke! Play Cat & Moose!"
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Pope spends day in hill town, jokes with residents
"Rush Letterman on American TV said that during my meeting with Pope Benedict was "Pope Classic" meets "Regular Pope". Ha Ha Ha! Let me tell you one on Americans."
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Robots to revolutionize state workers, ease labor woes
Just as soon as shovel created strong enough for robot to lean on, learn flagging traffic skills.
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Nigerian activists protest visit by Sudan leader
Outside of this, Africa and Middle East pretty well quiet as usual!
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Egypt announces criminal investigation of Mursi
"As soon as we get settled, we will have the guilty Mursi trial", says speaker close to new leader.
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Feathers Fly In Turkey
Turkish police fire tear gas at Istanbul protesters!
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Egypt Government Takes Shape
Egypt goes retro. New Pharaoh to be named!
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Taliban Delivers 30 Lashes
The Taliban are back to their old tricks as woman sneezes veil loose, showing mouth and nose. No protests from NOW here in US.
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Audits: Prison vendor charged for unserved meals
Light Salade aux Lardons turns out to be Spam in wilted outside lettuce leaves.
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Naked Woman In Single Tree Left By Loggers
"Well, I made My point!, she tells Press. "All I can say is that it took the men twice as long to cut down the rest", agrees foreman.
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Tension Mounts in The Middle East As Rockets Exchanged
And in Europe, the Girl Scouts have taken Lyon. On their way to Dijon!
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
D.C. to consider decriminalizing marijuana
If you think filibusters last a long time now, wait until pot approved. "Hey dudes. I'm gonna...ummmm.. Uh This is the case! Gotta light, Joe? Joe. Joe Blow! Ahahaa!"
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Zimmerman Found Not Guilty
Next: Trial for holding up Las Vegas store, armed robbery!
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Will Zimmerman jury remain anonymous?
"Not while I'm still out here", say Snowden!
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Sheriff appears nervous after Zimmerman trial
Asks the community to stay clam. "I mean for everyone to clam down!"
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Steroids Again? First Bat Home Run!
The steroid issue came up again after baseball player misses ball for strike three but loses bat...over the fence and into the right field bleachers. No one hurt.
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
NFL Players Still Having Off-Season Troubles
The Philadelphia Eagles were arrested this morning for DUI!
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
More Trouble For Iran
After computer bug stopped building of nuclear weapons, today an anthrax factory catches on fire. No one responds.
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Experts Agree on North Korea
Kim Jong Un has the right shaped head to bring about World War Three!
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
4 Ways to Avoid Running Out of Money in Retirement
Number One: If you have a $500,000 portfolio, President Obama done found you, so you might as well skip the other three.
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Fear Keeping Employees From Speaking Up at Work
Hours are now 70 minutes long at factories.
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Sharks No Match for Invasive Lionfish
Lionfish no match for Nessie, Godzilla!
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Dylan Mistaken for George Zimmerman, Yelled at by audience
Dylan: "I used to be Robert Zimmerman!" Begins singing "William Zanzinger killed poor Hattie Carroll"
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Protests begin against fracking
Organized group calling themselves "The Dirty Whacking Whackafracks".
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
BLT Killer still on the loose!
Three victims have been found choked to death thus far!
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Myths about high blood pressure
Myth #1 "You can not get it from being high!" Myth #2 "Myth #1 is wrong!"
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Pentagon Denies U.S. About to 'Invade' Egypt
Uh-oh, Invasion of Egypt about to go down!
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Whaling ship launching in Conn. after $7M overhaul
Since whale oil now cheaper than oil, whale breeders say they are ready. Ahab Whale Oil Co. Head list of new companies.
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Police say 2 deaths in Warsaw was apparent suicide murder!
Neighbors heard yelling. Then man killed himself and then turn his gun on his wife.
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Report: Israel led air strike in Syria on July 5
And not the aborigines of Australia as previously thought.
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Snowden documents could be 'worst nightmare' for U.S.: journalist
Some witnesses say he's adding new material all the time. "He's very good in adding new documents." says journalist that got a peek. "Apparently UFO's are real."
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Zimmerman cleared in shooting of Trayvon Martin 2
Many vow revenge. Many more vow revenge on those that seek revenge. Still others agree to avenge avenger's avengers.
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Zimmerman cleared in shooting of Trayvon Martin
Goes into hiding. Martin family try to contact Snowden on Zimmerman's location.
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Nissan to unveil Datsun in cheap-car push
"It's a lot easier to push because it's so small", says dealer. "Two big men should be able to push it."
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Bucks sign OJ Mayo to 3-year, $24 million deal
"That's a lot of Bucks", OJ Mayo tells ESPN.
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Murray having conquered Wimbedon now hopes to conquer us all
Andy Murray says he will now raise a Scottish Peoples Army and seize control of the British Isles. "Just you wait you southern lackies. We're coming for ya!" cried Murray. British troops are on guard.
written by whatinthe world, 14 July 2013
Rocky Mountain High #3
Last November, Colorado voted to legalize the recreational use of marijuana. Yesterday a Sasquatch, high on pot, tore up one who ski sloop and cabin chasing an imaginary Abominable Snowwoman!
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Visitors From Uranus?
Scientists say recent visitors who left crap circles could be from Uranus!
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Rocky Mountain High #2
In November, Colorado voted to legalize the recreational use of marijuana. Several frostbites after group spent two days looking at a rabbit.
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
Rocky Mountain High
In November, Colorado voted to legalize the recreational use of marijuana. You should see the weird tracks on the ski slopes. Rubber bumpers on trees called Sonny Bopos.
written by Bureau, 14 July 2013
